Snake on a Stick

Elim Mission Trip

2011-05-16T01:56:00.001-07:00

“Then they came to Elim where there were twelve springs of water and seventy date palms, and they camped there beside the waters.” Exodus 15: 27

Elim is a place where God led the Israelites during their wanderings for a time of refreshment. Elim Christian Center is that place for weary, impoverished, unloved people in western Poland. It was also a place of refreshment and renewal for me. God had laid it on my heart to go to Elim Christian Center in Poland since the trip had been announced at the beginning of this year, but we had several scheduling issues that seemed to make it impossible for me to join the trip. I talked with the leadership and committed to pray for the trip and assist with sending them. My children and I helped fold, sort, and pack hundreds of bags of donated clothing. I was happy to serve behind the scenes, but did not feel at peace with our decision for me to stay home. Finally, through prayer and sacrifices in Brian’s schedule, God cleared the way for me to go with the trip—one week before the planned departure. I hurriedly emailed friends and asked for prayers…I felt like I’d had no time to prepare spiritually and I needed prayer coverage!

God sent me to Elim as a nurse and I was terrified. I had not taken care of a patient, aside from my own children, for nine years. I actually requested to be sent as a gardener instead…I just wanted to work the soil and pray and talk with God. He had other plans, He knew I needed to break out of the protective covering I had wrapped around me, He knew I needed to put my hands on people, He knew I needed to pray openly with people, and He knew I needed to trust Him and realize that I can do none of these things on my own.

Before beginning our clinic on Friday morning, the rest of the small medical team and I had a time of prayer. The terror of finding medical issues, disease, emergencies that we could do nothing to help or prevent was crippling our team. “What if we find…?” “We only have over the counter meds, how is this really going to help…?” “Why are we even here when we can’t really fix anything?” We went to the Lord in our weakness and fear and He poured His Spirit into us and gave us peace. I went to the medical bus completely at peace and committed to just letting Him love through me.

During the course of the day, I was watching the other nurse and doctor and noticed that they were really seeing some sick people and serious conditions. I started really questioning my abilities and wondering if I had missed serious sickness in my exams and what would I do if I actually found it—yikes! I had several moments of uneasiness, but in those moments, there were no patients waiting and I was able to take a quick walk with God and He renewed my peace. I went back to the bus and my translator so joy filled because I realized that God had given me exactly whom I needed to treat, He arranged the appointments, and He gave me exactly what I could handle. Doesn’t He love? Such a thoughtful, caring Father!

Aside from the medical mission, the ladies on the mission trip ministered through sorting clothing donations, gardening, carpet cleaning throughout the palace, and a team of painters painted a widow’s home for her. We also had the pleasure of just spending time with the full time missionaries that live in the community. But really, they blessed us more. We were able to see their faith and trust and willingness to lay their plans aside and depend on God’s agenda. We saw examples of how God answer prayers with miracles. We saw their children and adults loving on each other and people in the community.

We also gained many friendships within the women of our church, many of whom have felt very lonely and isolated since living in Germany. Even though this trip was intended to be a mission, it felt more like a retreat because of the love and service we were able to give to each other.

We finished our weekend with church with our Polish brothers and sisters. We sang praises to our Mighty King in our heart languages and we sang together. We had the privilege of singing the “Revelation Song” together and getting a glimpse of heaven, when people from all tongues and tribes and nations will all sing His praises together.

Thank you for preparing me and ministering to me with your prayers. Everything that was done was for His glory and by His strength.

Nathan's Birthday

2011-03-30T01:25:00.002-07:00

Nathan's campout on birthday eve. Daddy had the privilege of spending a few hours in the tent. They all fell asleep for a few hours, but I brought them in around eleven o'clock because of falling temps. Nathan didn't seem to mind--he was ready to get warm.

My handsome, growing, young man.

A gift from Grace: a spy book.

A lego watch from Grandma and Grandpa.

A Prince of Persia lego set--finished in three hours (notice he's still in his pajamas)!

Finally, the ice cream cake, decorated with Nathan's favorite action heroes--Lego Indiana Jones and friends!

What Took You So Long?

2011-03-21T02:55:00.002-07:00

“How long have the people in your land known about Jesus?”

“Oh, hundreds of years,” I told him.

“What?” said the man in amazement. “You knew the truth for hundreds of years and didn’t come to tell us? My father searched for the truth all his life and died without finding it. Why didn’t you come sooner?”

http://www.bcsaschools.org/fine_arts/Obedience-Taylor.pdf

Spring

2011-03-11T01:10:00.000-07:00

Over the past couple of weeks I have been slowly emerging from my dark lonely place into this new world. Like the tulips we planted last fall, I’ve been trapped in cold, darkness, and isolation. The world continued around me, our life was going on around me, and yet I remained trapped in my head. I’ve been busy hiding in the dirt, mourning about the friends and life left behind, wondering about where we go next, and lamenting about why we don’t fit in here. In the meantime, the crowning beauty of fall adorned the trees, glistening winter snows blanketed the earth in white, and my children grew taller and wiser.

I have missed so much and I can’t get back the past seven (or more) months, nor can I undo the damage done to relationships as friends and family have had to put up with hearing me whine and selfishly complain. I had everything I needed, warmth, protection, nourishment, yet I persisted in my dark lonely place, taking it all for granted.

Now I am waking up and stretching myself to move forward and to open my eyes to the glory around me. I don’t want to miss anything else; I want to embrace every moment because it will be over so quickly. I hope that I can bring simple joy to the people around me as I grow.

2011-02-27T10:10:00.000-07:00

We took the kids to see their first circus. A small traveling circus came to our village this week with their tent and animals. The circus performers were all family members: mother, father, his daughter and son-in-law and their child, his son and daughter-in-law and their child. All members of die Familia Liberty. They each performed a variety of acts (all narrated in German). The son was a clown, knife thrower, balancing act/juggler, and stage hand. The daughter was a clown, high-wire performer, lasso artist, and beautiful assistant. Each person had several roles to fill, jobs to do, acts to perform. The circus was a well-oiled machine—it ran seamlessly (except for a momma dog who didn’t want to do her tricks) and it extracted oohs and ahhs and a hat full of pocket change from the crowd. Talented entertainers, music, lights, laughs, amazing feats, death defying acts—who could ask for more? And all within two blocks of our house! Sadly, the idea and hopes of the circus were a lot better than the reality of the circus.

The animals needed some tender loving care; they were not well groomed or well fed. The tent, props, and bleachers also needed some TLC and some paint. The amazing feats and death defying acts were…well, underwhelming. And the nickel, diming, and euroing of the crowd was frustrating. Thankfully, our sweet children are still innocent enough to overlook these details and to just love and enjoy the entertainment.

Here lately, I think I am that sad circus. I see myself performing many of these acts (just like any other mom). Every one of us does a balancing and juggling act. Knife-throwing—I’ll use that for a kitchen work analogy. Lasso-artist—anyone with a young child does this! Every mom has times when she needs to be a clown or a stage hand, a beautiful assistant…these mom/circus analogies are just too obvious! The sad part of the sad circus analogy is also true for me. I could use some TLC! I am not so well-groomed or well-fed these days (more like haven’t had a hair cut in six months and I’m “overfed”). I could also use a fresh coat of paint to make me look and feel like new. I think this first long, cold, lonely winter is wearing on me just like those circus tent and props that are worn from travel and the elements. Those death-defying acts and amazing feats, like creatively homeschooling three kids, successfully maintaining a home, and passionately developing cross-cultural relationships, well…let’s just say underwhelming sums that up too.

As with any circus, when the show is over, the circus cleans up, packs its bags, and goes on to the next village to start all over again. Thankfully, the circus family has each other and enough music, lights, and laughs to make it all worthwhile.

A side note: This little girl performing gymnastics was only nine years old. She was very talented, but Grace could not see past her slightly racy costume. When we asked Grace if she could perform a backbend like that girl, her response was "Not in that outfit!"

We’re Still Here

2011-01-08T07:42:00.002-07:00

It’s a new year and it's time for an update!

We're still here and we're beginning to get the hang of things. We are starting to feel a little more comfortable with traveling around. We’ve mainly stuck with short day trips (we have pets waiting for us at home…legally, we have to let the dog out every four hours or take her with us) in nearby villages and cities and a couple trips to France. There are challenging times when making our daytrips. For me, I must first muster up the courage to go. I am a bit of a homebody (Nathan is too), so just getting me out the door takes a bit of effort. Once we get over that hurdle, the next challenge is the drive. This part has gotten much better thanks to our friend, Garmin. When we get to our destination, the challenge of finding a parking spot, much less one large enough for our minivan, can be quite time consuming. It usually takes us half an hour of searching before we can find adequate parking. Most of our daytrip adventures can be described like this: we mourn the forgotten camera, we walk around a city, look at amazing old buildings, everyone complains that they’re cold, we stop in the local, opulent, wonderful, gothic cathedral, we find a place to eat (surprisingly most eateries are Italian or Turkish), we awkwardly order our lunch in a foreign language, we eat, walk some more, and then head home. The best part is just being together and enjoying each other’s company while looking at all of the wonders around us.

Brian and I are relationship people. We enjoy having close friendships and investing time into our family and into our friends. God has blessed us with ample opportunity for growth in our family relationships and our unity. We’ve also been blessed to have been placed next door to a wonderful German woman who loves to spend time with our family. Lore, our neighbor, is also planning to help me work on learning the German language. I’ve been doing some Rosetta Stone language lessons and now Lore and I are planning to get together a few times a week to practice speaking and grammar. I need to look up dative, accusative, etc…I have no idea! Hopefully learning German will also improve my English! Anyway, I’ve made a resolution to have a meaningful conversation in German by the end of 2011. That is, I’ll say what I mean, I’ll mean what I say, and what I say will have meaning.

Sadly, we still have not made any close connections with the Americans around us. We’ve found that it seems hard to invest in relationships with Americans because there is so much coming and going. Not only are people PCSing (moving) all time, but while stationed here, Americans want to take advantage of all of the travel opportunities. People are on the go and out of town all the time. The conversation topic when we see someone we know is always “We just came back from (fill in the blank). You really should visit there too.” Don’t get me wrong, Brian and I have many places written on our “must see” list; it’s just a shame that we can’t seem to make a few close family friends and all just go sightseeing and traveling together as a big, happy, huggy group. You know, to share the experience!
For now, I guess we’ll just share the experiences with all of you…if we ever remember to bring the camera!

Snowy Days

2010-12-01T06:13:00.004-07:00

While the dog and cats were tucked warmly into the armchair...we had work and play to do outside!
While Katie went "sledding" on her scooter...

and the big kids played snow baseball...

I shoveled our driveway and sidewalk (you know, it's the law in Germany that you must clear the walkway). You can't tell by the photo, but this was a big job--it took more than an hour, but what a great workout!
At the end of our street, all the neighborhood kids gathered to sled down the WWI and WWII monument hill.

We joined the crowd of kids and had a fantastic time sledding!! Only a few crashes, no injuries!

Christmas Market at Burg Lichtenberg

2010-12-01T06:02:00.003-07:00

We enjoyed a Christmas market at a nearby castle. Many of the folks attending were dressed in medieval costumes. There were thirty vendors selling homemade crafts.
The castle as it looked during its day. For history click here

Snowed in Again

2010-12-01T05:55:00.007-07:00

Thought it might be time to update the blog--we are snowed in again. The snow started falling, so we decided to skip piano lessons and play it safe. Here's what's going on around here:

It’s hard to believe that we wished Katie a happy fourth birthday over the weekend. How can four years have passed already? How can our baby be so big that she can write her name, read a few words, shower on her own, and keep up with all of us?

We celebrated Katie’s birthday with birthday pancakes, balloons, and streamers. We had a nice birthday lunch of Katie’s picks: orange chicken, garlic noodles, and green beans. We had cake and gifts with our neighbor, Lore.

Grace and Nathan hand sewed these two dolls for Katie, completely on their own. How creative!

Neighbor

2010-11-18T05:19:00.000-07:00

My German neighbor, Lore, pronounced Laura, is a treasure. She is a woman in her seventies, full of life and stories and advice. She lived through World War II as a young child and has heart-wrenching stories of post-war life in Germany. She married a Peruvian and spent a few years living in Lima; she was living there during the devastating earthquake of 1970. She cared for her sick mother, cared for a disabled sister, survived cancer, had hip replacement, and she raised a daughter, and has a grandson.
Lore has been surrounded by Americans for many years of her life. She worked over thirty years at the American base serving in translation and as a technical assistant. She has also been a great neighbor to the many American families who have lived in our neighborhood. She has ministered to families and watched over their young children, she has made meals for tired moms, and she has served as an interpreter between next-door renters and their landlord.
On the day we moved in, she had a meal waiting for us in her home and invited us to come and eat and rest when the packers finished. She’s had us over for rouladen and for tea and cake. She always has a warm greeting and a kind word when we see each other outside and she is usually overly concerned that I’m not dressing my children warmly enough for the weather! Every time she comes to our home she brings candies for the children and chocolates for us. We’ve gone on a couple outings together and she’s a delight, always telling stories and explaining the German way of life. We went to look at antiques and she came along with us. It was like walking through the antique store with a living history book describing the uses for everything we saw. Then, after we returned, she contacted a neighbor friend of hers who had an antique potty chair that she didn’t want and she gave it to us.
I’m thankful that these first few lonely, confusing months her have been improved and graced by her presence. We are very blessed to have her as a neighbor. I hope I don’t mess it up!

I Am Not

2010-11-18T04:36:00.001-07:00

I am not a mother of six children.
I do not bake well.
I do not sew Halloween costumes, quilts, and projects.
I do not throw huge, elaborate parties for every holiday.
I do not exercise every day.
I do not refinish furniture.
I do not speak fluent German.
I do not have the most well behaved children.
I do not work harder than most women my age.

I am the mother of three children.
I do set decent meals on the table.
I do sew when I have to.
I do welcome friends and children and hungry into our home.
I do teach my children.
I do serve my husband and family faithfully.
I do write, blog, and call to keep up with friends and family.
I do have creative, intelligent, gentle, loving, hilarious children.
I do work hard.

Yelling Doesn't Help

2010-11-16T00:45:00.000-07:00

My Katie has had a runny and stuffy nose the past few days. She HATES having a runny/stuffy nose—it makes her yell. Day or middle of the night, in front of guests or by herself, suddenly when she hits her sniffle frustration limit, she throws herself to the floor and yells! Sometimes she yells that she wants to cut off her nose. Sometimes she yells that it’s all my fault (I did not give her the cold)! Sometimes she yells that she doesn’t like whoever is closest to her: brother, sister, cats, Belle—no one is safe. Today I told her that yelling doesn’t help and her response was, “YES IT DOES!!” Then she cried and sniffled again.

I am a yeller. I do not usually yell about having a runny nose, but sometimes I’ll burst out about stubbing my toe or running one of my hips into a radiator control dial. I’ll yell about backtalk from the kids or when they disrespect each other. Sometimes when I hit my noise frustration level, I’ll yell “QUIET!!!!” or “Go somewhere else!!” For me it’s like my little tea kettle has finally started boiling and I gotta let out a little scream…and, oh, it feels so good…at first.

As you can imagine, I have ruined my children and have created little yellers running around my home. Hearing their selfish, yelling squabbles is quite heart breaking because I realize I’m hearing my own words, my own selfish habits repeated by them. They quickly resort to yelling when their “rights” have been infringed upon by a sibling.

I’ve prayed for years for God to help me with my yelling, to help me have self control. He has been slowly (very slowly, in my opinion) answering my prayer over the many years of parenting, once I realized the negative impact of yelling. I used to be much more of a yeller than I am today, losing my temper over very small infractions. God has been growing peace within me and has slowly reduced the volume level of the words that leave my mouth. I still have to work hard to guard the tone and watch for cutting, quick answers. I would like to be one of those moms who never raises her voice, but with a gentle word and a “look” can guide and correct her children. I really don’t know if that goal is in my future, maybe I’ll get there when I am a grandmother, but I do know that yelling doesn’t help.

Katie....Katie....

2010-11-04T03:18:00.001-07:00

This morning when Katie came into the schoolroom with bright orange Play-Doh mashed into her hair, this was our conversation:

“What is this in your hair?”
“Nothing.”
“How did this happen?”
“What?”
“How did you get Play-Doh in your hair?”
“The cat did it.”

All I could think of was the very un-funny SNL skit about Gilly…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fj0lboME4aw

Katie has a way of getting into trouble and getting away with it because she is too cute.

Read This, Mess With Your Life

2010-11-01T23:31:00.002-07:00

Apostolic Passion by Floyd McClung

A Müller Moment

2010-11-01T00:33:00.001-07:00

We were saddened to find out that our landlord passed away on Saturday morning. We had met him twice and we had heard many stories from our neighbor, Lore, about how Herr Klingel had been able to fix anything and how he was a very hard worker. Herr Klingel had been very ill with heart failure. His son, Hermann, had come to our house earlier in the week for a repair to our front door lock and had told us that his father was not doing well. In broken German, I tried to tell him we’d pray for his father.
Saturday night, our first floor central boiler broke down—this provides heat and hot water for the first floor. I couldn’t get it restarted no matter how many buttons I pushed and the German instruction manual was no help. We certainly didn’t feel like we should burden our landlord’s family with calling for a repair, especially when the units on the second and third floor were still functioning. So we wrapped up in blankets and tried to figure out what to do and we prayed. I had just read the story of George Müller and the orphans to the children on Friday during school, so I asked the children to pray like George Müller prayed.

In November of 1857 Mr. Muller was informed that the boiler for the heating system of Orphan House #1 had a bad leak and would have to be repaired. However, the boiler was surrounded by brickwork so it could not easily be checked. Should the brickwork be taken down? If the boiler was damaged, it would mean a cold winter for 300 children. However, if no problem really existed, breaking down the brickwork might damage it. Mr. Muller committed the problem to God. He had peace that the work should be undertaken as soon as possible. But a few days before work was to begin, a north wind brought the first signs of winter.

Mr. Muller prayed for two things: that God would change the wind to a south wind, and that the workmen would want to work hard. Sure enough, when the heat was to be shut off, the south wind blew and the air turned warmer. The brickwork was removed and the problem immediately found. At 8:30 that evening the boss told Mr. Muller that his men would come early in the morning to complete it.

"Excuse me, Sir," answered one of the workers, "but we would rather work all night to finish the job." Within 30 hours the brickwork was in place around the repaired boiler, and never was the heat needed during this time. (copied from www.characterstories.net)

I can’t say that I went to bed with a great faith that things would be fixed. I had many concerns: how and who would we talk to about the heat to get it fixed? How long should we wait before calling the grieving family? Would it be fixed in time for our guests visiting this weekend? The last heater repair took a month to get resolved. Would our new landlord, Herr Klingel’s son, Hermann, be willing to let us keep renting or would he want to sell the house?
In the morning, before church, we had no answers, the button pushing still didn’t work. We prayed, went to church, and at church asked around about anyone who knew how to fix a boiler. After church, we took a walk in the woods. Although refreshed by God’s glory in His creation, I was feeling burdened and lacking in faith, not just about our boiler problem, but also about the goals and purpose for our family while we are here. When we headed back to our house, I saw Hermann Klingel’s car parked in front of our house. He had arrived, unexpected, to finish the work on our front door lock.
He had needed a break from the numerous family members that had come to support the family and was looking for something to busy himself, so he came to fix the lock and brought his wife with him. He doesn’t speak any English, so we asked Lore to come and interpret for us and we also knew that she’d want to come and express condolences and could help us express ours as well. While Hermann was here, I was able to ask him to look at our boiler. He had everything he needed to repair the problem, including the replacement part and tools. The repair took about ten minutes. Hermann also gave us reassurance that we should call him any time day or night when something like this happens so he can come help us.
God amazes me. He sent our landlord, without us even calling him. He took care of our heating problem. He provided a break and relief for Hermann. He has reassured us that we will continue to be able to rent this house without worry. He reminded me of His faithfulness and He proved His faithfulness to our children once again.

"Prayer and faith, the universal remedies against every want and every difficulty; and the nourishment of prayer and faith, God's holy word, helped me over all the difficulties." George Müller

Halloweekend

2010-10-31T23:35:00.007-07:00

We planned a trip to Mainz to see the Gutenberg museum on Saturday; however, when Saturday morning rolled around, our to do list was too long and we had slept too late and our time in Mainz would be too short, so we decided to stay home. I had to practice some “dying to self” as, once again, our weekend travel plans did not work out. After ticking a few things off the chore list, we headed out for a hike. I had saved a really fabulous hike location that we’d be to on our GPS. Unfortunately, when I plugged in the coordinates, I must’ve made a mistake because our GPS kept telling us to go home. Instead, we drove to a nearby village and hiked at Bärenloch, which was a wonderful find! The trail was a delight and the fall colors were breathtaking. There was also a fantastic playground at the trailhead where we had some laughs with the kids.

After hiking, we went home and had more time to finish our checklist before heading out for trick-or-treating on base. We had not planned on trick-or-treating, in fact, it had been five or six years since we had gone out. We’d spend Halloween night at church functions and fall festivals and hadn’t been on the trick-or-treat scene. We had been invited by our American neighbors to join them for the festivities on base, so we agreed. Grace and Katie dressed as the Ingalls girls, Laura and Carrie and Nathan was Indiana Jones.

Our neighbors decided to leave later than us, so we went over to base housing on our own. We got to housing about half an hour after the trick-or-treating had started and the majority of the houses were already out of candy (signs posted on the doors) and the houses who did have candy had children standing in long lines to make their way to the door. I’ve never seen anything like it! We walked for a while and got a little candy and marveled at some of the terrible things parents let their children wear. We also enjoyed seeing several darling children in cute costumes and some very creative costumes. The best we saw was a giant pac-man, complete with video game sounds and music. We made our way to the football field on base where they had set up a huge video screen and were playing “It’s the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown.” We sat down with our free candy and hot cocoa and enjoyed the movie. On our way home, after an evening of fun…we all decided that we’d probably try to find a fall festival or a church function next year.

Where Do You Want to Go? What Do You Want to Do?

2010-10-28T00:32:00.000-07:00

Since the day we arrived, almost every day some one says to us “Travel every chance you get, go as many places as you can.” This mindset we’ve encountered among the Americans is meant to be exciting and encouraging, but it has had a different effect on me.

Each week we get to hear of the many travels and trips people around us are taking on weekends. Everyone seems to have such wonderful trips, visiting places that once seemed so far off, but are now within grasp. The Americans around us are so adventurous and courageous and make it seem so easy to drive across borders and visit new towns, in new languages. It doesn’t sound like anyone ever gets lost or has trouble finding a parking spot. They have figured out the VAT forms for shopping, the menus for ordering, the train routes, the bus routes, the Autobahn…And some of the folks that have gone on these trips have been here only a few months, like us.

At first I feel impressed and excited to visit the same places. Everyone makes it seem so easy! Those feelings blossom into visiting tourist websites and Google maps, daydreaming and planning. By Thursday, I’m in a frenzy to find a place to visit for the weekend so we can keep up with the Joneses. Usually, on Friday, I haven’t got a plan yet and my excited feelings have vaporized. I begin pestering Brian about the nonexistent weekend plans and asking “well, what do you want to do?” I think my fears about travel and trying to handle the details and trying to do and see as much as everyone else has led to replacing my excitement about travel with aggravation and frustration. Then, when we do eventually go out, I find that I focus quite a bit on what we aren’t seeing and doing, instead of enjoying what we are seeing and doing. Not so fun for the family when I’m busy being miserable about what we haven’t seen and rushing around trying to fit in more sites.

So, this weekend, I’m trying a new approach. It is Thursday and I’m going to try to find a place for us to visit this weekend. I will daydream, visit websites, and plan. However, I will not get whipped into a frenzy and I will try not to worry about keeping up with everyone else. I will just try to keep my focus on enjoying whatever it is we choose to do, if anything. Maybe, if things go well, I will love and enjoy my family and glorify God in the process.

Impatient

2010-10-16T13:38:00.002-07:00

I am beginning to believe that impatience is a cultural attribute of the locals. I think this is why they have few speed limits on the autobahn. Every time I drive the autobahn my heart rate soars and I have to have complete silence in the car--you can bet the kids love that lecture. It goes a little like this: “Quit annoying each other! You are distracting me and this is a very dangerous road and I have to concentrate to keep from killing us all. PLEASE BE QUIET!!” You’d think that these comments would be pretty effective for keeping the children still, quiet, and calm in the back seats, but it doesn’t seem to make too much of an impression on them. They have back seat wars the same as all siblings have throughout the history of riding in wheeled vehicles, despite my ranting and raving. Anyway—back to the topic. Autobahn driving is intense. The impatient locals expect me to know where I’m going and expect me to stay out of their way (which is hard to do in my minivan). The other day I was pressured into driving 90 mph while I completed my passing maneuver, so that I could be out of the way of the driver trying to pass me. 90 mph in a minivan filled with my precious loved ones is not my idea of fun.
There are other examples of the impatience I’ve noticed. Shopping in the stores here is not a friendly, happy social exercise. Autobahn rules apply in the store aisles! Know where you are going and get out of the way! If you are paused to look at an item, you are expected to move your cart and yourselves and your children out of everyone’s way…in fact, it’s best not to pause to look at something, just decide as you are passing the item, reach for it and grab before the customer behind you gives you a dirty look for moving too slowly in front of them. In the States, if you are paused in an aisle, people politely move around you and your cart, but here the paused person is expected to move and make way.
If you are ordering at a counter and you take too long to decide, they’ll just start taking the order of the person behind you—it happened to Grace today. She couldn’t decide on a flavor of ice cream, so the woman behind the counter walked away mid-order, took another order, then came back for Grace. We also made the mistake today of walking past a store, then deciding to turn around and go back to it. We got some dirty looks for backing up our family those few steps to go into the store, we didn’t even step on anyone, we just obviously didn’t know where we were going and we didn’t get out of everyone’s way.

Things We Miss

2010-10-12T23:28:00.002-07:00

Here's an imcomplete list of "Things We Miss," "Things We Like," and "Things We Must Get Used To" since moving to Germany. I'm sure we'll add to this list over the next three years...

Things I Miss:
Hungry Howie’s Pizza
Garbage disposal
A big, deep sink—deep enough to wash my pots and pans
Bath tub
Our lovely, Phoenix house
Sunshine and blue skies everyday
My backyard pond
Central heat, central air conditioning
Desert sunsets
Wearing shorts
Wearing Flip flops all year round
DSCC
Knowing where I’m going
Target

Things I Like:
Big, grassy yard that requires no sprinklers
Our big house
Fall colors
Temperate forest a block from our house
Castles
History everywhere
Amazon.com
Our kittens

Things I must get used to:
Quiet hours every afternoon from 1-3
It is illegal to wash your car except at the car wash
Milk is sold in unrefrigerated, paper cartons
Eggs are sold in sets of 10
People aren’t supposed to let their car idle for more than 30 seconds.
People aren’t supposed to warm up their cars in winter.
You must sweep your sidewalk and street in front of your home on Friday or Saturday.
All the taxis are Mercedes
Narrow streets
Turning off and on radiators for heat in individual rooms
Frost, cold weather, fog

Techno-quirks

2010-10-08T13:46:00.000-07:00

Oh the wonders of technology! It has been such a blessing keeping up with friends and family via Skype and email and through our Vonage phone! Simply amazing! But even though it is wonderful to hear and see our loved ones, communicating electronically instead of in person does have its quirks and frustrations.
When it comes time to Skype, we have to pile up in front of the computer for a chat instead of cozying up on couches and chairs around the living room. I usually drag over the piano bench and a stool to give everyone enough room to fit in front of the camera. Then, of course, there’s the inevitable squabbling over who has more room on the bench and who is being a camera hog. Then we usually scramble to collect the kittens so they can be on camera, too. The virtual hugs over Skype just don’t have the same feel as the real thing. The kids try to hug the web camera (sometimes knocking it over), but it’s just not quite satisfying to hug a piece of plastic with wires. Blowing kisses is about as good as it gets. Generally, the kids have a ball making faces and grabbing toys to show off in front of the computer…but they can’t move too fast or it’s all just a blur! Nathan has tried showing off his dance moves to no avail and Katie is a blur most of the time, but Grace has it figured out pretty well. And you know how your mother always told you not to make that funny face because it might just stick that way—well, it really happens when the connection slows down enough to freeze frame at just the wrong time!
Speaking of the wrong time…time zones, time changes…who can keep track of it all? Not me—I’ve proven it. It stinks to have to do math before making a phone call. I either have to subtract 7 or 9 from the time here (military time style). At least, that’s how it is now, but in a couple weeks we’ll be starting CET, falling back an hour. So we’ll be GMT+1 instead of GMT+2. Then a few weeks after that, Missouri will go from GMT-5 to GMT-6 and Arizona will just stay GMT-7, just to confuse everything. This is why every phone call begins with “What time is it there?”
Despite the slow connections, dropped calls, blurry smiles, screechy hellos, and other techno-quirks, communicating electronically has been fantastic and has made being far away much more bearable.

A Photo Tour of Our Village

2010-10-03T23:14:00.009-07:00

Willkommen! We have a Catholic and a Protestant church.

This is our village crest:

This is the sign for our village restaurant, the Be Cool:

School Steet, where you can find the village school and kindergarten, and the Protestant church. It’s a one way street.

In the village we have pet deer and pet goats.

The Catholic church.

The children playing on the school playground.

Our street, you can see the Palatinate forest at the end of our block:

2010-10-03T23:02:00.002-07:00

I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith. I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead. Phil. 3:8-10

I need to attain this mindset...not just knowing about Jesus, but knowing Him must be supreme in my life. What is more important than knowing Jesus?

Too Cold for a TuTu

2010-10-01T03:35:00.003-07:00

We miss our warm, sunny days in Phoenix! It's been in the 50's and rainy here almost all week. We have our radiators turned on only in the rooms we're using. Most of the morning, we stay on the second floor, playing and doing school, so when we come down to the first floor for lunch, it's chilly! Katie has been insisting on only wearing a tutu lately (I love the dress-up phase!), but today was too cold! Enjoy some pics...

Welcome to Deutschland!

2010-09-29T23:41:00.002-07:00

We're in a new country! I think I'll try to start keeping up the blog again. Looking back, we started this blog three years ago when Brian deployed for the first time. Thankfully, we are not facing that situation right now--although that could always change--but we remember God's faithfulness then and He is showing Himself mighty and faithful to us now (and of course all three years in between)! He has answered many prayers since our departure from Phoenix and our arrival here. I'm hoping to track and give God praise for awesome prayer answers here on this blog. I also hope to just keep everyone up to date with quick notes journaling our day to day life. Join me when you can!

Halloween Photos

2008-11-03T19:59:00.005-07:00

We thought you might like to see photos of our children in their Halloween costumes. Grace was Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz (book, not movie--her shoes are silver instead of ruby red), Nathan was Batman, and Katie was a pumpkin. We spent the evening at our church seeing friends, playing games, enjoying bounce houses, and gorging ourselves with candy.

AZ Walk for Life

2008-10-27T20:34:00.003-07:00

Thank you everyone for you support this weekend as we participated in the AZ Walk for Life. Brian and I raised $550.00 for the Crisis Pregnancy Centers of the Phoenix area. What a priviledge and blessing to raise money for such an awesome ministry!
Thank you also for your encouragement for the race itself. Brian walked two miles with our children and I ran my first 5K. It was great fun...well, Brian had fun walking with the children...I just concentrated on finishing/surviving the race. I was able to run the whole race in less than 35 minutes with NO walking!! There were several runners/walkers from our church and from across the city. We had a great time and we look forward to participating in the future...I guess this means I'll keep jogging.....

Operation Kid

2008-10-21T20:05:00.002-07:00

This past weekend, Grace, Nathan and I participated in Operation Kid. Operation Kid is a mini-deployment for military kids. Grace and Nathan (accompanied by Jen)were deployed for Operation Kid last year also (while I was in Afghanistan).

The day began with the kids being notified by telephone at 0645 on Saturday morning that they were to report for "duty" within the hour. Upon reporting, they were issued a uniform (camoflauge Tshirt) and queued up for a "mobility line", where they were outprocessed through multiple booths where they were issued backpacks that were loaded up with various necessities (toys, binoculars, dogtags, candy, juice). They were given anti-malarial pills (Skittles). This was followed by a briefing from the Wing Commander, a Brigadier General. After being briefed, they loaded up on buses and deployed to an austere environment across base.

Upon arriving at the deployed location, they were greeted by a bomb-defusing robot. Then, they went to the shooting range, where they did target practice with M16 BBguns. After that, we were given the opportunity to explore all of the various tents and displays that were set up--security forces (where Grace had her face painted), recreation tent, medical tent (where Grace had a splint put on her arm), rock climbing, grenade toss, crime scene investigation, military working dog demonstration, chow hall (including trials of MREs), the Chapel, and an exercise while wearing chemical warfare gear (including gas masks)--they walked around a scene carrying "electric noses" looking for the bad smelling air.

When they returned from their 4 hour deployment, they were greeted by hoards of people--VFW members and military personnel. Their return was celebrated with cake and more toys and candy.

They had so much fun, I was just glad that there wasn't a recruiter waiting at the end of the day to sign them up.

The Adventures of Superkids Continues

2008-10-07T22:05:00.006-07:00

Nathan and Grace have made the Adventures of Superkids come to life. Ever since reading the very first story written by Brian, the children have been pretending to be the beloved superheroes. Recently, however, they've gotten much more creative! They have each hidden their secret hero suits under their beds (shhh!! don't tell). Whenever there is trouble, out of nowhere, they'll charge into the room and announce that they've come to save the day. They have remarkable battles against invisible villains (or against stuffed animals--they punch them so that they fly through the air) with karate moves and flying leaps. After the most serious battles, they receive promotions. They started out as Super N and Super G, but have progressed up through the ranks so that they are actually now Colonel N and Colonel G. Katie is a big part of the action. She even has a cape of her very own and she has left the rank of "Super" behind and is now called "Captain Baby" by G and N. I just have to say...we have SO MUCH FUN!!!

Moustaches--For your enjoyment

2008-10-07T21:47:00.004-07:00

Moustaches...My Dad has always worn one, in fact, I've never seen him without his hairy upper lip.

Brian wore one during Moustache March while he was deployed...

And, our children wore some paper moustaches (and beards) a few weeks ago...

You know, my children make moustaches look pretty cute!

Been having a little log on trouble...........

2008-10-01T21:38:00.005-07:00

Well, I haven't been keeping up on my blogging for the past month for many reasons. Foremost, I haven't been able to log on from our desktop computer. Tonight, I found my way onto our website using Brian's laptop, but his laptop doesn't have all of our family pictures, so until I get things corrected, no photos of our adorable children...bummer.

I'll fill you in on what we've been up to since El Paso. We are currently halfway through our eighth week of school. It has been a challenging school year so far! It's been hard to figure out our new daily routine with schooling a second grader and a kindergartner and corralling our toddler. Then, when we start to fall into somewhat of a rhythm, we add a new component to our schedule, like Bible study or physical education classes or sports or vacations.

For now, each day is a work in progress. We are, however, having a great time teaching the children! We've been blessed to take a couple trips that have complimented subjects we've been learning this year (especially astronomy). We've been to an observatory, planetarium, and to Meteor Crater (it should be meteorite crater)! We've also visited the Grand Canyon. I think the most fun we've had with school thus far has been visiting the zoo--no, not the Phoenix zoo, the White Zoo on my kitchen counter. Our current exhibits include a pet praying mantis (we go out each night at dusk to catch his dinner for him, usually crickets), a large snail, and a caterpillar. Our three inch long grasshopper recently passed away. We've also had earwigs and pet crickets (until they become mantis food). Luckily, we haven't had any pet cockroaches!

It's hard to believe that one year ago, we started this blog to share our thoughts, our lives, and our prayer requests as Brian prepared to depart on an unexpected deployment. Thank you for joining us for the journey and thank you for your prayers. Looking back over the past year, half of it with Brian in Afghanistan and half of the year with him home, it's hard to believe he was gone at all. God is faithful to us, He completely sustained us and comforted us. Brian and I are as close as we've ever been and, in fact, our relationship is stronger. Most importantly, during the past year, we've both grown more dependent on and more in love with the LORD. That truly is the most important thing! God is my Rock and my Redeemer, my Strength and my Shield, and my Joy, and I will sing His praises all my life!

Psalm 71 (NIV)

1 In you, O Lord, I have taken refuge;
let me never be put to shame.
2 Rescue me and deliver me in your righteousness;
turn your ear to me and save me.
3 Be my rock of refuge,
to which I can always go;
give the command to save me,
for you are my rock and my fortress.
4 Deliver me, O my God, from the hand of the wicked,
from the grasp of evil and cruel men.

5 For you have been my hope, O Sovereign Lord,
my confidence since my youth.
6 From birth I have relied on you;
you brought me forth from my mother's womb.
I will ever praise you.
7 I have become like a portent to many,
but you are my strong refuge.
8 My mouth is filled with your praise,
declaring your splendor all day long.

9 Do not cast me away when I am old;
do not forsake me when my strength is gone.
10 For my enemies speak against me;
those who wait to kill me conspire together.
11 They say, “God has forsaken him;
pursue him and seize him,
for no one will rescue him.”
12 Be not far from me, O God;
come quickly, O my God, to help me.
13 May my accusers perish in shame;
may those who want to harm me
be covered with scorn and disgrace.

14 But as for me, I will always have hope;
I will praise you more and more.
15 My mouth will tell of your righteousness,
of your salvation all day long,
though I know not its measure.
16 I will come and proclaim your mighty acts, O Sovereign Lord;
I will proclaim your righteousness, yours alone.
17 Since my youth, O God, you have taught me,
and to this day I declare your marvelous deeds.
18 Even when I am old and gray,
do not forsake me, O God,
till I declare your power to the next generation,
your might to all who are to come.

19 Your righteousness reaches to the skies, O God,
you who have done great things.
Who, O God, is like you?
20 Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter,
you will restore my life again;
from the depths of the earth
you will again bring me up.
21 You will increase my honor
and comfort me once again.

22 I will praise you with the harp
for your faithfulness, O my God;
I will sing praise to you with the lyre,
O Holy One of Israel.
23 My lips will shout for joy
when I sing praise to you—
I, whom you have redeemed.
24 My tongue will tell of your righteous acts
all day long,
for those who wanted to harm me
have been put to shame and confusion.

Out in the West Texas town of El Paso

2008-08-28T15:07:00.005-07:00

We had a great trip to El Paso last weekend to see my dad at his new home. It was awesome to see my dad--El Paso seems to suit him well. He's got an interesting and challenging job and he's got a neat house on a mountainside overlooking most of El Paso.

We swam in his pool and drove around to do a little shopping (Mexican blankets and baskets) and a little sight-seeing. He even pointed out where to find Rosa's Cantina (of course he sang a little too):

Out in the West Texas town of El Paso
I fell in love with a Mexican girl.
Night-time would find me in Rosa's cantina;
Music would play and Felina would whirl...

He took us to an awesome steak dinner at Cattleman's Steakhouse and after dinner we looked around the Cattleman's "zoo" and saw many a rattlesnake, some deer, some bison, ostriches, and bunnies.

When he wasn't taking us out to eat at fabulous restaurants, he was stuffing us with goodies at his house (the kids especially loved all the snow cones)!

It was a long car trip, but the children did great and we're looking forward to the next time we get to see Dad.

The Adventures of Superkids: Episode Four

2008-08-25T09:25:00.002-07:00

This is the final installment of the Superkids adventures that were written during Brian's deployment.

Coming soon...the Adventures of Captain N, by Nathan.

Adventures of the Superkids: Episode 4
The Superkids Go to Worksalot’s House

“Woohoo! Alright! Let’s go!” Super Buddy Boy said. He was all excited because they were going over to their friend’s house to play. Super G said “Ok, I’m almost ready…I want to finish coloring this picture for him.” “Where’s Super Baby?” asked Super Buddy Boy. Just then, he heard a “shjwooooh” sound and then he felt something crash into him, knocking him over. Super Baby had been flying around the house and crashed into Super Buddy Boy. He told her “Super Baby, you need to watch where you are flying. And, you shouldn’t fly around the house; you don’t want mommy to find out about your super powers, do you?” Super Baby said “Oh, Boy. Goo goo Gaga!” Super Buddy Boy asked Super G “What did she say?” (he doesn’t speak baby talk as well as Super G.) Super G said “She said ‘Oh, boy! That was fun! I was flying way too fast for mommy to see me.’” Super G then asked Super Buddy Boy to help her find some tape so she could finish her letter to Worksalot. They had an entire afternoon of fun planned. They were going to Worksalot’s house and they were going to play knights, and ponies, and go rollerskating and after that, they were going to swim.

Mommy told them that it was time to get ready to go. So, Super G finished her card and then went to help Super Baby put on her shoes while Super Buddy Boy grabbed the bag of snacks off of the counter. They were taking over some fruit and vegetables to share with Worksalot. Then, they all piled into the van and drove to his house.

They got to his house and they ran up to his room. He always had such a neat and tidy room, with each toy in its place. But, he had a lot of toys. He loved to share his toys. He didn’t have any brothers or sisters, so he really liked having friends over. Super G gave him the card that she made—it had a giraffe (his favorite animal) colored in green and red (his favorite colors) eating pizza (his favorite food). He absolutely loved it. He hung the card on his dresser mirror. Then, he showed her his collection of horses and he said “I know that you like playing ponies, so you can play with these if you want to.” They spent the rest of the afternoon playing. They played hard. Worksalot showed them all of his toys. They played inside and outside. They played make-believe and dress-up and knights and ponies and superheroes. They roller-skated. They went swimming. They played T-ball and basketball. They made crafts. They had snack time.

After they got done playing, they went back inside and upstairs to Worksalot’s room. It was a mess! There was a pile of legos in one corner, star wars guys and knights in another corner, and the racetrack was set up right in the middle. One of his roller skates was in the middle of the room and one was on his bed. The fort that they had made from his pillows and blankets had fallen down after they “bombed” it with foam balls, and it lay in a heap against his bedpost. There were popsicle wrappers and juice boxes on his dresser and his flashlights were still under his bed. Baseball gloves, a bat and a ball were keeping the closet door from being able to close.

Worksalot looked around his room, and he was overwhelmed. He leaned up against the wall and slumped to the floor. He wanted to be a good boy, but it looked like a lot of work. He was so overwhelmed and upset, he could feel tears come into his eyes, his nose started to run; he began to cry. Super G, who is always kind and compassionate, asked him “what’s wrong, Worksalot?” Between whimpers, he was able to eventually tell his friends that he was worried that if he didn’t clean his room, if he didn’t do the right thing, his parents wouldn’t love him. Super G, Super Buddy Boy, and Super Baby jumped into action. They all worked together to clean up his room very quickly. (Cleaning is a lot faster when you have the help of Super Baby, flying around the room picking up stuff.) After they were finished cleaning, Super G said “thanks for letting us help you clean up, when we serve others, it lets them know that we care about them.”

Super Buddy Boy said “Ya know Worksalot...your parents will still love you, even if you don’t do the right thing all of the time. Of course, you should always try to do the right thing. But your parents don’t love you because of what you do; they love you because you are you. They love you unconditionally. That means that they will always love you, no matter what. They want you to do the right thing, but even when you don’t, and they have to discipline you…they still love you. God loves us in the same way. He doesn’t love us because of what we have done; He loves us because He created us.” Worksalot said “does that mean that I don’t have to clean up my room?” Super G then explained, “Your parents will always love you. You can show them that you love them by trying to do the right thing.” Chiming in, Super Buddy Boy added “That is how we show God that we love Him, too; by trying to do the right thing. Even though we try to do the right thing, Jesus is the only one that never sinned. We could never do the right thing all of the time. We could never do enough to earn our way to heaven, but it is by God’s Grace. Heaven is a free gift to us. It is not anything that we have done to get into heaven, but what Christ did for us. He took the punishment for all of our sins so that we are washed clean in His blood. Because Christ died for us, we are able to go to heaven and be with God forever.”

Discussion
1. Read Ephesians 2:8-9
2. Look up the words grace and gift in the dictionary
3. The word grace comes from the Greek word Charis, which means to rejoice; a favor done without expectation of return.
4. Talk about the concept of unconditional love—among family members and with God.
5. Draw a picture of Worksalot’s room before they cleaned it up

A Little Catch Up...

2008-08-15T15:39:00.007-07:00

I've neglected posting the past month and a half, so here's a quick photo update...
Katie's first haircut

Our Trip to Missouri...

First Fish

Sweet Cousins

Katie and Ben

It's so hard to take a photos of all the kids at once...

Jackson III

That's our July!! August update coming soon......

Our Olympics

2008-08-15T15:25:00.003-07:00

We've been so excited about the Olympics this year, watching them whenever we get the chance. So far the children's favorite event to watch has been fencing. We held our very own Olympics Sunday night while we were watching our friends' children. We couldn't do fencing (at least not safely), but we held a few track and field events: javelin, discus, long jump, sprints, hurdles, and then we finished with a round of crab soccer.

The Cheering Section

The Adventures of Superkids, Episode 3

2008-08-04T14:22:00.003-07:00

The third installment (my favorite)

The Adventures of Superkids
Episode 3: The Superkids Fly Around The World.

One day, Super Buddy Boy was grumpy—he didn’t want to share his toys, he didn’t want to play with his sisters, he didn’t want to eat or sleep, he was just grumpy. He knew that he should be loving and kind to everyone, but he was still talking mean and throwing fits over little things. Super G, who is gifted to be caring and compassionate towards others, said “what is wrong, Super Buddy Boy?”. He said “I don’t know, I am just grumpy—LEAVE ME ALONE!” Super G, then poured him some juice and said “here, you are probably thirsty, drink this.” So, he drank it; then he said “I am still grumpy.” Then, she went to the pantry and got him some cheese and crackers and said “here, you are probably hungry, eat this.” He ate it; then he said “still grumpy”. By this point, Super G was getting sad because she was not able to find a way to cheer up Super Buddy Boy.

Superbaby, who had been watching the whole thing, got an idea. She crawled over to Super G and whispered “I think he misses daddy.” Super G said “I bet that you are right. What would daddy do if he were here?” Superbaby said “he would probably clobber Super Buddy Boy!” Super G said “You’re right! Daddy would probably tackle and tickle Super Buddy Boy until the grumpies fell out of him!” Superbaby then crawled into the middle of the living room. Super G said “What did you say, Superbaby? You want to show Super Buddy Boy something in the middle of the living room? Ok.” Then, in a loud voice that could be heard throughout the house, Super G called “Super Buddy Boy…can you come into the living room please? Superbaby wants to show you something.”

When Super Buddy Boy got to the middle of the living room, Superbaby jumped up and used her super strength to tackle him. Then, Super G came running in and jumped on Super Buddy Boy and started tickling him. At first, Super Buddy Boy said “stop it! Leave me alone!” Then, he started to snicker. He was trying hard not to laugh because he was grumpy. Next, he started giggling. Finally, he couldn’t hold back anymore. He laughed and laughed and laughed. He said “how did you know that my grumpiness would be cured by getting clobbered?” Super G said “superbaby figured that you probably were sad because you miss daddy” Superbaby said “and if daddy were here, he would tackle and tickle you.” Super Buddy Boy said “thanks, I needed that.”

The Superkids then decided that they all miss daddy. Super G said “I wish that there was a way to see daddy and hug him.” Then, they all tried to come up with ways to see daddy and hug him. Super Buddy Boy said “it is nice to talk to daddy on the phone, but you can’t hug the phone.” Super G said “I like getting letters from daddy, but you can’t hear his voice”. Superbaby said “I sure would like to go visit daddy.” Then, Super G had an idea—she was so excited, she shouted “Superbaby! You can fly us there to visit daddy!” Super Buddy Boy whispered. “Shhh. That is a great idea Super G, but we have to be quiet. We don’t want mommy to find out about our secret identities and our secret powers.”

So, they went over to the globe, then to the maps on the wall. They had to try to figure out which way to go. After they chose the route they were going to take, they had to find a way to distract mommy. The Superdogs heard the Superkids planning their trip and the Superdogs said to leave the distraction up to them. So, the Superdogs went to work—-one of them went into the laundry room and started barking and howling at the garage door; the other one started panting and pacing around the room. Mommy was so busy checking on the dogs, that she didn’t even notice the Superkids flying out the window.

Since Superbaby is the only one of the Superkids that can fly, Super G and Super Buddy Boy have to hold on to her. There are many different ways that they do this depending on how far they are going and how the weather is and how fast they are going. Today, since they were going to go really fast and really far, they decided to all lay down to fly. It looked kind of funny, really—-three kids hugging each other, flying through the air. They call this flight configuration the “Superkid Sandwich”, and they can fly the fastest when using this technique.

They were flying really fast, but they wanted to make a few stops on the way to Afghanistan. First, they stopped in Kansas to say hi to their Super Cousins. Then, they stopped in Missouri to say hi to their Super Friends and their other Super Cousin. They flew past their grandparents’ homes, but they did not stop because only kids know about their secret identities as Superkids. They flew south to say hi to their Super Friends in Alabama. Then, they stopped in Washington, D.C. to say hi to their Super Friends that will be moving to Turkey soon. With each stop, they were encouraging to their friends and family and everyone wished them safe travels.

Next, they were over the Ocean. It was getting dark, and cold—they decided to make the sandwich tighter. Soon, they were over Europe. They noticed that there were not very many churches, or many missionaries. Super G said “I wonder if we are in the 10/40 Window”. Super Buddy Boy said “I think you are right—-we should go tell people about Jesus.” Super G then said “And we should really try to encourage the missionaries that are serving here.” So, that is what they did—-they flew over northern Africa and Southeastern Europe, stopping at each church and encouraging Believers along the way. They stopped in Turkey and they had to look really hard to find any churches or any Christians to encourage. So they started telling people the Gospel, the Good News, that Jesus, God’s Son took the punishment for our sins and that allows us the opportunity to live forever with God in Heaven.

After they left Turkey, they flew over a few mountains and then they saw people fighting. Then, they heard a loud noise—-a big Fighter Jet (an F-15) flew by and scared off the bad guys that were fighting. Superbaby said “We’re in Afghanistan now. I am just going to follow that F-15; I bet it will take us to the base where daddy is.” The F-15 landed. They found the hospital on base and they went in to find daddy there. He was helping some of the people that were hurt in the fighting.
Daddy was so excited to see the Superkids! He hugged them and kissed them. Then he said “wait a minute, how did you guys get here?” The Superkids laughed and then they told daddy about Superbaby’s special powers. Then, they reminded daddy that it was Wednesday and that it was his tickle day. They tackled and tickled daddy and made him fall down. He said “where is mommy?” Super G said “she still doesn’t know about Superbaby’s powers.” Super Buddy Boy said “we better get back before she gets worried.” They all hugged one more time and said goodbye.

The Superkids decided that on the way home, they were going to go the other direction. So, they flew over Pakistan and India and China and the Phillipines. They stopped at several places along the way—Super G encouraged the Believers, Super Buddy Boy told others about the Good News. The people were happy to hear that The Superkids had prayed for them even before they ever came there.

The Superkids got home just in time to help mommy clean up where one of the Superdogs had diarrhea on the floor. As he was cleaning up, Super Buddy Boy said to the Superdog “You didn’t have to have diarrhea on the floor.” Superdog said “You told us to distract mommy, so that is what we did. We didn’t know how long you would be gone, so we had to do something.” The Superkids all laughed.

The End.

Activity: look at the map and the globe to find the route that the superkids took on their journey. Name each of the friends and family that they visited. Discuss the 10/40 Window. Pray for missionaries and peoplegroups in that area. Draw a picture of the Superkids flying around the world.
Read: Rom 5:8, 1 John 4:10
Pray: for the missionaries and believers in the 10/40 window.

The Adventures of Superkids, Episode 2

2008-07-23T07:34:00.004-07:00

Brian wrote this during his deployment, while Grace and Nathan were in T-ball in the fall. They had games every Monday and Wednesday night and their team was the Brewers and they played on it with their good friend Wesley. Illustrations by Grace.

The Adventures of Superkids

Super G—6 year old girl, spiritual gifts of compassion and love for others
Super Buddy Boy—4 year old boy, spiritual gift of evangelism, ministry
Super Baby—gifted with strength of 10 men, can fly faster than superman.

Episode 2: The Superkids Go to T-Ball

It was Monday evening. The Superkids had just finished dinner. They were getting ready for their T-ball game. They put on their sweatpants and sneakers. They put on their Brewers hats and shirts. Usually on Mondays, they rode to the T-ball games with their friend, Ballplayer, and his family. But this Monday was different. Ballplayer was going to ride with the Superkids to the game. Super G was really excited about this game because she had been practicing her throwing and catching all week prior. Super Buddy Boy was excited because he had been practicing his batting. Super Baby was excited because she loves to go watch her brother and sister play T-ball. Ballplayer was excited because he loves to play ball. They all got in the van and headed toward the game.

On the way to the game, they were all singing “Off we go to the T-ball game”, which is a song that the Superkids made up that is sung to the theme of The Air Force Song. Then, all of a sudden, they heard a “Bam…Whumpf…thud, thunka, thud, thunka.” At the same time that they heard this, they felt the van swerve and bump. The Superkids’ mommy (who is an excellent driver) was able to safely pull off to the side of the road, out of the way of traffic. She said “kids, I think we have a flat tire, I am going to get out to check.”

When she got out of the van, the kids were worried “What are we going to do?” Super G said, “I want to throw and catch the ball and run the bases.” Super Buddy Boy said “I want to hit the ball.” “I just want to play ball.” Said ball player. “We have got to find a way to get to the game.” They all said. Superbaby whispered to Super G that she had a plan. Superbaby said “I can fly us all to the game.” Super G said “that is a great idea, Superbaby, but how can we do that without Mommy finding out about your superpowers?”

Mommy came back in the van and said “yup, it’s flat. I am going to call Ballplayer’s mommy to come take you to the game.” She called and Ballplayer’s daddy said that he would come right over to change the tire for them. When Ballplayer’s daddy showed up, he and the Superkids’ mommy were busy outside of the van changing the tire. Superbaby said “Now is our chance” Superbaby flew Super G and Super Buddy Boy and Ballplayer to the game.

They got there just in time to bat. They each got a turn hitting, then the coach said “Alright, Brewers, everyone go get a drink.” Then, Superbaby flew them all back to the van, where the Superkids’ mommy and Ballplayer’s daddy were just finishing putting a new tire on the van. The Superkids and Ballplayer got into their carseats and buckled up. Superkids’ mommy said “are you guys ready to go? I thought you would be disappointed that you are going to be late for the game.” (She didn’t know that they had already played part of the game.) They all looked at each other and smiled.

This time, they got to the game in time to take the field. Ballplayer played first base. Super G played third base. Super Buddy Boy played shortstop, which is between second and third base. Since there were so many kids on their team, another boy played very near the same position as Super Buddy Boy.

A player on the other team hit the ball…it went hard and fast straight toward Super G. She put her mitt down right and front of it and fielded like she played for the Diamondbacks. She threw it to first base, where Ballplayer was able to tag the runner out. “Good job, Super G; good job, Ballplayer” Everyone cheered.

The next player came up to bat and he hit a grounder toward Super Buddy Boy. He put his mitt down, but it the ball went right under it. He quickly dove on the ball, picked it up and threw it to first base. But it was too late, the runner was already on base. The little boy that was playing next to Super Buddy Boy started teasing him because he did not get the ball in his mitt and because he was all dirty. At first, Super Buddy Boy started getting upset, then he heard encouraging words from his sister, Super G. She said “Its alright Super Buddy Boy, you did a good job. Don’t be upset by his teasing.” Super Buddy Boy, after being encouraged by his sister, was able to ignore the teasing. He did not say anything mean to the other little boy. He did not hit the little boy. Later, someone hit the ball to that little boy, and he missed it, it went right past his mitt into the outfield. Even then, Super Buddy Boy did not tease the little boy. Instead, he encouraged him.

After the game, the Superkids’ mommy said “Super Buddy Boy, you did a good job not teasing the boy that teased you.” Super G said “I guess that it is good that you have been teased before, Super Buddy Boy. Because, now, you know that it does not feel good to be teased and you won’t want to make others feel bad like that.” Super Buddy Boy said “You are right, Jesus says that we should ‘Love one another, as I have loved you’ and ‘Love your neighbor as yourself’. Teasing would not be a good way to show love.” Ballplayer said “When you spoke kind, encouraging words to him, that was a good way to show that you love him.”

The End

Join the Superkids next week in another adventure.

Vocabulary—words to discuss:encouraging, teasing
Activity—draw a picture of the van with a flat tire and of the superkids at a T-ball game; read John 13-34-35, Matthew 22: 36-39

Another Superhero Song!

2008-07-01T19:24:00.001-07:00

Here's Katie singing the Spiderman theme song. Enjoy!

Also--be sure to scroll to the bottom of the page to see our new family photo

A "Normal" Week

2008-06-27T13:13:00.003-07:00

This week and last, we've been just hanging out, enjoying summer and friends and swim team. Not up to too much, but wanted to share a couple of photos of our kiddos and how they've been passing the time.

Take a little bit of black electrical tape, some yarn, and a little bit of imagination and...voila! A spiderweb playground for Spidey and Batman (yes, that's taped right to Nathan's bedroom wall).

Dressing herself up--can't believe she's wearing high heels already!

"Did you say "come here"??? You'll have to catch me!!"

Lovin' on the dog--Good ol' Belle

Don't forget to email me for an invitation to view the blog--starting next week we are going private...

Also, coming up next week: the next adventure of Superkids and another video of Katie singing a new superhero song...

The Adventures of Superkids

2008-06-22T10:26:00.003-07:00

While Brian was deployed, he wrote a few stories for our children for me to read to them while he was away. They are the Adventures of Superkids. I have a few installments that I'll post every here and there. I'll also post some that Nathan has written to keep the stories going (he changed them to the Adventures of Captain N).
Here's the first installment

The Adventures of Superkids

Super G—6 year old girl, spiritual gifts of compassion and love for others
Super Buddy Boy—4 year old boy, spiritual gift of evangelism, ministry
Super Baby—gifted with strength of 10 men, can fly faster than superman.

Superkids and the Quest for Maple Syrup

It was early in the morning one Saturday in the fall, when Superbaby started to wake up. She rolled over in her crib and pulled up on the side to stand up. She stood and said “mama…maamaaa…mama”. Unfortunately for Superbaby, mama did not here her. Mama was already awake—she had already read the Bible and spent time praying; now, she was walking on the treadmill, listening to some music. Superbaby didn’t know why mama wasn’t coming to get her out of her crib, so she decided to use her superpowers. Even though she was not yet a year old, and she could not walk, she is very strong (stronger than ten men) and she can fly (higher and faster than Superman). However, no one knew about her superpowers. Noone except for her superbrother and her supersister. They all tried to keep Superbaby’s powers secret.

While Superbaby stood in her crib, wondering why mama wasn’t coming to get her, she decided that she was ready to get out of the crib and she felt that she may need to use her superpowers. She pondered her possible escape routes—she could use her super strength to rip of the front of the crib and jump out, but that would be hard to explain to mama without divulging her superpowers (it would also to be hard to fix the crib while daddy is out of town). So, she decided to fly out of her crib. But, where should she go? If she went to find mama, then mama would know she could fly.

Superbaby decided to go wake up Super G, her big sister that is 6 years old. She flew into Super G’s room and landed right on top of Ghannie, Super G’s stuffed cat. Then she heard her daddy’s voice “Hi, Grace. Remember Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding, Proverbs 3:5”. Superbaby must have landed on Ghannie’s paw that plays a recording of daddy’s voice. After hearing her daddy’s voice, Super G woke up to find that Superbaby was laying in bed with her. Super G said “Good morning, Superbaby. Did you fly in to wake me up?” Superbaby said “Guhh”. That is what she calls Super G.

Super G said to Superbaby “Do you know what day it is? It is Saturday, that means that it is pancake morning. Let’s go wake up Super Buddyboy.”
They went in to wake up Super Buddyboy, but he was already awake, laying in his bed, reading his Bible. He said “Good morning, girls. I think mommy is awake, but she is on the treadmill. Let’s go find her.”

They went into mommy and daddy’s room to find that mommy was just getting off of the treadmill. She said “Good morning everyone, I didn’t know you were all awake.”
Super G, who is blessed with the gift of compassion and concern for others, always thinking of other people’s feelings, then said “Mommy, may we please make breakfast this morning? You make it every other morning, may we bless you with breakfast today? It is pancake morning—we can make pancakes. Mommy, you can take a shower while we make pancakes, okay?”

Mommy replied, “Thank you, that would be such a blessing. You may get everything out, and mix the pancakes, but I will be out of the shower in time to cook the pancakes.”

Super G, Super Buddyboy and Superbaby were very excited. They went in the kitchen to start preparing breakfast. They got out the pancake mix, measured it and poured it in the bowl. They dumped in the water and oil. Super G cracked the eggs into the bowl. Super Buddyboy tried to taste the pancake batter, but Superbaby used her super strength to hold him back. Super Buddyboy and Superbaby decided to look in the pantry for the maple syrup. They couldn’t find it though. They asked for Super G’s help. Super G brought in the big stool and looked on all of the top shelves. Super Buddyboy looked on all of the middle shelves. Superbaby looked on all of the bottom shelves. Though they found a sticky spot on one of the shelves that smelled like maple syrup, they could not find a bottle of maple syrup.

Pancake morning would not be the same without maple syrup. They had to find some, and they had to find it fast because mommy would be out of the shower soon. They tried to remember where maple syrup comes from. Super G went into the school room and looked it up on the internet. She found that it is made from the sap of maple trees. Then she remembered a long time ago, on a pancake morning, when mommy and daddy talked about some syrup that they had gotten from daddy’s parents after they went on a trip to Vermont, where they saw a maple syrup factory. After she told this story to the other superkids, Super Buddyboy and Superbaby went to the map on the wall to find Vermont.

After looking at the map, Super Buddyboy and Super G held on to Superbaby and they flew to Vermont. They found a maple tree farm. They saw one of the workers there that looked very sad. Super G started talking to her. The worker’s name was Lackafaith. The worker then said that she was said because she had disappointed God. Super Buddyboy then explained to her that God loves her. He explained that we are all sinners. He told her that Jesus already took the punishment for our sins and that trusting in Jesus will allow her to go to heaven.

Lackafaith was so excited to hear the wonderful good news of the Gospel message. She shortened her name to Faith. She gave the superkids a bottle of fresh maple syrup.
They flew home and got there just as mommy was getting out of the shower. Mommy came into the kitchen and said “it looks like you guys did good getting the pancakes ready, did you have any problems?” The superkids just looked at each other and smiled, shaking their heads to indicate that they did not havey any problems making breakfast.

The End

Join the Superkids next week in another adventure.

Vocabulary—new words to discuss:pondered, divulging, gospel
Activity—find Vermont on the map; look up how to make maple syrup on the internet; draw a picture of pancakes and the superkids; read 1 John 4:10, Romans 3:23, and John 3:16

Swim Meet

2008-06-17T13:56:00.006-07:00

Grace competed in her first swim meet on Saturday. She swam hard and, when she wasn't under water, she was smiling. She had a blast, and the best part for her was that she earned four ribbons! Those ribbons were a huge motivator for Grace! She earned sixth in back stroke, sixth in breast stroke, third in individual freestyle, and third in freestyle relay (all 25 meter races). Her next meet in Saturday and she's been counting down the days!

Don't forget, we're going private in two weeks, email me for an invitation.

Going Private

2008-06-15T12:50:00.005-07:00

July 1, 2008, we are going to make our blog private, which means that only invited guests will be able to see these adorable photos and videos of our children and updates of our family.

If you are a reader of our blog and you'd like to continue visiting, we need to give you an invitation!! Please email me before July 1, 2008 to let me know if you want to keep reading.

Busy, busy, busy...

2008-06-06T08:38:00.004-07:00

Since Brian has been home, we have been very busy with activities and visitors and finishing school! We can do everything and anything as long as we are doing it together, right?!? Actually, the lesson I've learned over this past month and a half is that I need to humbly go to God in prayer before I say "yes" to anything. I don't want to be depending on my husband's presence or my own strength to get me through my days, but on the One who can really help me bear my burdens. Only He can help me face my tasks with joy as I attempt to do all things for His glory.

Now, a few photos to sum up our busyness and fill you in on what we've been up to, besides making faces and Brian's promotion...

Jen went to the Women's Breakaway Retreat

Brian's parents came for a visit and during their time we went to Desert Botanical Gardens

Nathan played spring T-ball

Our friends, Brian and Kim and their children Joshua and Julia visited. During their visit we went for a hike and played tag at the park and enjoyed reconnecting.

Katie turned eighteen months
Our friends, Jules and Steve visited with their children Mikay and Kyra. We went to a Diamondbacks game and visited the Zoo during their trip. We were blessed to have them here.

As we begin our busy, busy June with vacation Bible school and swim team for Grace and the many other tasks that will come up, we look forward to what God has in store for us and submit to His authority and loving care.

Major Dad

2008-05-31T08:18:00.004-07:00

Last Friday, Brian pinned on Major! The children and I were able to be a part of the swearing in ceremony. Grace and Nathan and Katie seemed to think their job was to provide the entertainment...

After Brian was sworn in, we came forward and pinned Brian's new rank (Bronze Oak Leaves) onto his epilets. Katie and I pinned one side and Grace and Nathan (with help from Maj. Ray) pinned the other. Thankfully the children stopped flopping around and making silly faces long enough that they didn't poke Brian in the shoulder!

We are so proud of Brian in all of his accomplishments as a doctor and leader...but we rejoice even more in his humble service and submission to Jesus. May God receive all of the glory!

Making Faces

2008-05-21T22:16:00.004-07:00

Here's what we've been up to since Brian's been home...

Nathan's interview

2008-05-15T09:07:00.003-07:00

On the way to t-ball the other night, I asked Nathan a few interview questions.
Here are some of his awesome answers.

Mommy: Nathan, what do you want to be when you grow up?
Nathan: A story writer about "Captain N" (Nathan's made up superhero).

Mommy: What's your favorite song?
Nathan: Spiderman

Mommy: Who do you want to marry when you grow up?
Nathan: I don't know her yet.
Mommy: How many children will you have?
Nathan: Eight. Seven boys and one girl.
Mommy: What will their names be?
Nathan: The girl will be Rebekah, the boys will be Michael, Jacob, Daniel, Joshua, Palm, and Sunday, and Easter.

Mommy: What's your favorite color?
Nathan: Pink, because Grace likes pink.

Mommy: What's your favorite food?
Nathan: Including ice cream or not including ice cream?
Mommy: You can include ice cream.
Nathan: Strawberry ice cream.

Mommy: If you were alone on a deserted island with nothing on it, but you could pick three things to have there with you, what three things would you pick?
Nathan: A giant bowl, filled with strawberry ice cream, and a giant cherry.

Mommy: If you could visit any country in the world, where would you visit?
Nathan: Will you still be in Arizona?
Mommy: I don't know, maybe.
Nathan: I'd visit Arizona. And Texas. And that big country over by Hawaii.
Mommy: Alaska?
Nathan: Yeah, Alaska.
Mommy: Those are all states in the United States of America. What country would you visit?
Nathan: Arizona.

Mommy: If you were going to have a very special friend over to dinner and you were going to make that special person a very special meal, what would you make?
Nathan: My wife would make dinner.
Mommy: Well, what would she make?
Nathan: Carrot stew.
Mommy: What would you have for dessert?
Nathan: Strawberry ice cream.
Mommy: Who would the special visitor be?
Nathan: You, Mommy.

Gotta love him!

One more thing...
Brian was singing a Mary Poppins song in the van recently with the kids. He asked Grace if she knew the song and she said "No, I don't know it. I haven't downloaded that one yet. My head is an i-pod."

Too sweet!

Happy Times

2008-04-30T15:04:00.009-07:00

Grace and her friend, Lynde, with their newly pierced ears!

Big girl Katie

Nathan figured out this new, creative way to carry his sword "hands free."

Katie sings the Batman Song

Vote for Dixie!

2008-04-23T08:30:00.004-07:00

After Dixie's death in January, Brian's mom submitted Dixie's life story to the Animal Archives of the Missouri Veterinary Medical Foundation. Dixie's life story has been selected as one of the finalists for the "2009 Pet of the Year." We'd love it if you'd take a few moments to read her story and vote for your favorite pet of the year finalist.

By the way--New post from Brian coming soon...

Reunited

2008-04-08T11:00:00.000-07:00

First Sight

Daddy and the girls

Daddy and Nate

Happy Brian

Hugs all around!

Brian returned to us last night!

The children and I went to the the gate to greet Brian. We were anxiously waiting for his arrival and, of course, his flight was a little late. By the time his plane had arrived, we'd drawn enough attention with our wiggles and pacing and signs and flags, that everyone at the gate was anxiously awaiting Brian too!

Brian was one of the last ones off the plane. A kind stranger agreed to take photos for us (thank you!) as we held each other and hugged. At the end of our initial greeting, all the folks at the gate gave Brian a standing ovation and we heard numerous words of thanks and praise for his service on the way out.

We thank God and praise Him for sustaining us during our time apart and for his protection and love!

My Very Present Help in Time of Need

2008-04-01T14:38:00.004-07:00

A few nights ago, I was lying in bed waiting to fall asleep and feeling fearful. I’ve had a few nights like this since Brian’s departure, when I’ve worried about prowlers or home invasion, when the sounds of the night seem to make the house come alive. I started praying, as I have many times before, for God to give me peace and to comfort me and calm my fears so that I could rest. I had settled a little bit and started trying to fall asleep when I heard Nathan come into my room. It was about 11:30 pm and he’d been asleep a few hours. He came to my bedside and said, “Mommy I’m going to sleep in your bed tonight. I just want to comfort you.” I settled the little guy into my bed and I did feel completely settled and peaceful and comforted. I know there’s nothing that my little guy could do to physically protect me, but it sure was nice to have some company. And what joy and reassurance it brought me to remember that God is answering our prayers, even the ones we think may be silly or small ones.

This was just one more reminder of His complete provision for me, and our family, during Brian’s deployment. There is nothing we have lacked. He’s given us good health and He’s preserved us from accidents. He has certainly worked through our friends or family to meet our physical needs through providing meals and childcare and lawn care and our spiritual health and welfare through their prayers and support. He’s given us supernatural strength when facing the trials of the past six months and He’s given us joy despite unmet expectations and sorrows. He’s grown me in so many ways and has given me a more intimate relationship with Him. I wish I could proclaim everything God has done for our family during this deployment I cannot find words to adequately express my feelings of overwhelming praise and thankfulness. I feel like it could just burst forth out of my heart!

Ps 28:7 “The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song.”

I don't know the name of this praise song and I wish I had the music to play for you, but here are the lyrics in my mind and the song in my heart today:

"I will bless the Lord forever,
And I will trust Him at all times.
He has delivered me from all things,
And He has set my feet upon the Rock.

I will not be moved, and I'll say of the Lord:
You are my Shield, my Strength, my Portion, Deliverer,
My Shelter, Strong Tower, my very present help in time of need.

Whom have I in heaven but You.
There's none I desire beside You.

You have made me glad, and I'll say of the Lord:
You are my Shield, my Strength, my Portion, Deliverer,
My Shelter, Strong Tower, my very present help in time of need.

My very present help in time of need."

Two Weeks Left---More or Less

2008-03-22T00:13:00.000-07:00

Well, it seems like only yesterday that I got here, but it seems like I have been away from my family for an eternity. Six Months has gone rather quickly, but it also has seemed to drag on. Though I have had a good experience, it is nice that I will never have to go on my first deployment again.

I set out at the beginning of this journey with several lofty goals. I had plans to enhance my mind, body and spirit. As you may have guessed, I did not accomplish all of my goals. I had a great professional experience—I learned things medically and saw things that I had never previously seen. I truly enjoyed the opportunity to work with and teach some of the Afghan physicians. It was wonderful to get to know more about Afghanistan and the Afghan people.

I planned to work on a couple of online classes while here, but that just didn’t happen. The internet service in my cabin was not really good enough to access the sites regularly along with the required downloads. I could try it from the hospital, but most of the time, the doctors’ work room is a fairly active social room until close to midnight each night, so it is difficult to concentrate in there. I started the Aerospace Medicine Primary course, but I didn’t get very far into it. I didn’t even start reading the Perspectives coursework.

Though I read quite a few books and journals (more in the last 5 months than I have in the past 5 years), there are still many more that I would like to read. Hopefully, I will be able to continue this trend of reading regularly after coming home.

I had periods of exercising a lot and really enjoying it—running, lifting weights several days a week. However, I have also had times (like now) when I go several days without working out. I have practiced a lot of dietary indiscretion since being here, so, even with the increased workouts, I will still return home in my usual state of squishy huggability. My wife told me not to come back “all beefcake and muscle-bound”, so, I have kept that promise. My daughter told me that she likes me squishy, thankfully I will not disappoint her.

I have grown in many ways spiritually, seeing that God is here…even in Afghanistan. I have had fellowship with many wonderful Christians. I read through the entire new testament over the course of a couple of months (40 days), discussing it regularly with a couple of friends. We studied Romans and 1 Peter in some depth, with great discussion among a small group.
One of the things that I have truly enjoyed about this deployment is the relationships that I have developed with my co-deployers. We lived together, worked together and laughed together. Being able to work with two different groups of doctors has really led to many friendships that will be long-lasting. I have also seen how small the world is—we all know people that know people. It is neat seeing people from previous bases.

I have really enjoyed having a forum in which to write some of my random thoughts on this blog. All of your comments and feedback have truly been appreciated. I was a bit disappointed in the fact that I didn’t blog more. I had originally hoped for once a week, but that just didn’t happen. Over the past few weeks, I tried to log on to post comments and new posts, but I was having some technical difficulty. There were a few times that my internet just wasn’t working, but it also happened a couple of times that I couldn’t log in to the blog site in order to post because the log in page was in another language. This will probably be my last blog entry while in Afghanistan because the internet access from my cabin is going to be shut off sometime this week. I plan to post at least one more time (probably in late April or early May) to let everyone know how the reunion of our family goes.

Motivated By a Ribbon

2008-03-21T23:35:00.002-07:00

“A soldier will fight long and hard for a bit of colored ribbon.”
Napoleon Bonaparte

Ribbons can be truly motivating. Maybe not ribbons and medals in a tangible sense, but the accolades of praise, words of affirmation—these things are encouraging. Everyone wants some recognition.

I recently had the privilege of participating in an award ceremony where Vice President Cheney presented a Silver Star and a couple of Bronze Stars with Valor to a couple of soldiers and a sailor that performed truly heroic acts. Interestingly, the recipients were very humble, saying things like “just doing my job”, “just at the wrong place, at the wrong time, tried to do the right thing”. One of them had also been shot, he said “it didn’t hurt any more than the anthrax shot (immunization)”.

I also received an award, the Army Commendation Medal, for which, I would also respond “just doing my job.” The award citations are typically written in such a manner that even our regular daily duties sound heroic. In the military, we often joke about the ways to word mundane tasks such that they sound wonderful in performance reports and award letters—so, instead of saying “latrine duty”, it would say something about “responsible for improvements in public health and sanitation”. They also like to use numbers and statistics, talking about dollars or lives saved. This concept is often used by shoppers as well, to justify buying something that they don’t need by saying how much they saved by getting it on sale.

I am coming near the end of my deployment (only a few weeks left), and during this time, I have pondered my motives. Am I motivated by ribbons? Medals? Accolades? From the time I was a child, there have always been carrots in front of me—merit badges, trophies, certificates, diplomas. But, are these things my motivation? The funny thing is that these things, as motivating as they may be at times, are all vanity(Ecclesiastes 1:14, 5:10, 5:15). They, like us, like vapors, will disappear. These are some of the treasures that we store up on earth, where moth and rust can destroy them (Matthew 6:19). My merit badges, trophies and many certificates are in a closet in my parents’ house. If we are living for eternity, how can something temporary be our primary motivator? None of these temporary indicators of success and achievement are required to get into heaven. In fact, sometimes they make it harder to get into heaven. (Matthew 19:24). Heaven cannot be earned. It doesn’t matter how many ribbons I have on my chest, I will never deserve to go to heaven. It is only by God’s Grace (Eph 2:8). Heaven is a Gift from God (Rom 6:23).

My main goal is that I will run the race in such a way that I will win (1 Corinthians 9:23-27, Hebrews 12:1-2) a crown of eternal life (James 1:12). With this as my end goal, what should be my main motivator?—Love. Just as Christ commanded us, I long to love the Lord my God with all of my heart, mind and soul, and to Love my neighbors as myself.(Matthew 22:36-40) One way to evaluate the impact of love as a motivator in life is to look at the different languages of love. (Chapman—Five Love Languages) Am I most motivated by words of encouragement or quality time or gifts or by touch or acts of kindness? Am I truly living in such a way that these motivations are manifest in my daily life? Am I speaking these love languages to others? (Ok, we do need to be a bit selective in speaking the language of touch.)

Sounds very noble, doesn’t it? Being motivated primarily by Love—love for God, love for others. I don’t know about you, but I find myself backsliding to my prideful, selfish, fleshly, nature fairly regularly. Seeing my sinful nature makes me truly appreciate God’s Grace. What an appropriate realization to come to on this Easter weekend. I need Him. I need His Resurrection. Because He took the punishment, we won’t have to.

Are You Studying For the Test?

2008-02-23T05:56:00.002-07:00

All of our educational lives are made up of a series of milestones, a series of tests. En route to becoming a physician, there are an extraordinary amount of tests. There are of course all of the tests of each individual class in high school and college that helps define a grade point average. Then, after going through those tests, there is the Medical College Admissions Test (MCAT). After in medical school, the tests continue. In addition to being tested for each class, one also begins the trek towards medical licensure—part one is a test taken after the second year in medical school, part two is taken after the third year, and the final part is taken sometime during the first year out of medical school (the internship year). After being a licensed physician, the next set of tests is for board certification. Board exams are taken after residency training, which is 3-7 years after finishing medical school, depending on specialty. (I am board certified in internal medicine, which was a three year residency.)

I noticed early in my medical education that the subject matter on which we were being tested was not always relevant to actually taking care of patients. It was around this point I appreciated that it would be possible for someone to do very well on the tests, but still not be a good clinician. I decided that my studies should not just focus on preparation for an exam. I realized that it was important for me to study, not so that I would know the material for the tests, but so that I would know the material. I realized that the information that I was learning did have relevance, and that it was important for me to know, not for the test, but for my patients, for life.

Studying for a test often requires you to study a checklist of items, memorizing them right before the test, and regurgitating them in some alpha-numeric sequence on a bubble sheet with a number 2 pencil. Unfortunately, once that mentality, that checklist mentality, permeates our nature, it is hard to free ourselves from it. We automatically find ourselves falling into the concept of doing the minimum to pass the test. It is hard to get out of the studying “for the test” mentality. It is difficult to transition to studying “for life”.

The life that we live outside of the realm of education is also full of tests. These tests come in the form of trials, tribulations, temptations. So, how do we study for these tests? Should we be studying "for the tests" or "for life"? Is there a difference outside of medicine? Is there a "checklist" or an outline from which we should be studying? Of course there is! The Bible is full of sample tests. We get to see how other people have done in their test preparation. We see examples of people that do well in the face of a test—big tests, like Job; or even in seemingly smaller quizzes, like Joseph with Potipher’s wife. We also see examples of people failing tests—like David with Bathsheba. We should be studying God's Word, hiding it in our hearts. Instead of using a number 2 pencil, these tests of life are scratched out with the sword of the spirit.

Peter talks about being tested…by fire, resulting in praise and glory and honor to Christ (1 Pet 1:6-9). James speaks of the endurance produced by testing of our faith through various trials (James 1:2-4). Peter continues, telling us how to prepare for the test in verses 13 -16 of 1 Peter chapter 1. “Therefore, gird your minds for action, keep sober in spirit, fix your hope completely on the grace to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ. As obedient children, do not be conformed to the former lusts which were yours in your ignorance, but like the Holy One who called you, be holy yourselves also in all your behavior; because it is written ‘You shall be holy, for I am holy.’”

What do you think? Any other Biblical study tips that you find helpful? Any other sample tests in the Bible that are encouraging to you?

Spiritual Warfare

2008-02-22T05:35:00.001-07:00

Do you think that there is truly spiritual warfare? How do you picture it? Paul tells us that we do not battle against flesh and blood, but against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness. (Ephesians 6:12) Peter tells us that Satan prowls like a hungry lion. We advised to prepare for action. We are encouraged to put on the full armor of God that we may stand firm against the schemes of the devil. Are we truly undergoing battle? Spiritual battle?

I have been reading a book called Piercing the Darkness, by Frank Peretti. Though I had heard of his books, I had never read any prior to now. I am truly enjoying it. In it, there is a story line that involves many characters, including those in the spiritual realm. It personifies angels and demons in a way that shows their impact on the lives of the other main (human) characters. It describes the powers of prayer. It shows the persistence of the demons/dark side/bad guys—they continually hover, waiting for an area of weakness which they can exploit. In his depiction of this spiritual battle that is continuously ongoing, he identifies an interesting concept. He shows that there are certain demons that seem to attach to certain characters. For instance, one of the main characters is frequently plagued by demons named Despair, Death, Insanity, Suicide, and Fear. These demons are constantly probing, like a dentist looking for a cavity. They periodically are able to “dig their talons in” and impact her mind, her outlook, her perspective. His vivid imagery also describes a demon named Gossip, who is able to stick his claws into people’s minds and “stir things up”. Very interesting concept, isn’t it?

He also describes the main character’s conversion to Christianity. After which, she “ordered” the tormentors out of her life. Do you think that it is that simple? Do you think that we can, in the Name of Christ, order such tormentors out of our lives for good? As I see it, using this visual imagery, it seems that each person may have the same three or four “demons” lurking around in their lives, waiting for the opportunity to take hold. For some, the demons may be named Addiction, Alcohol, Pride, Lust, Jealousy, Low Self-esteem, Poor Body Image, Gambling, Gluttony, Slothfulness,… It does not seem to me that cursing these demons and casting them out will be a one time thing. It seems that some of these will need to be cast out daily. Is that because of a lack of faith?

It seems that the true defense to these “demons” is to set our minds on things above; to hide God’s Word in our hearts; to die to self; to crucify our sinful nature with its passions and desires; to let our minds dwell on whatever is true, noble, right, lovely and excellent; to pray without ceasing; and to pursue righteousness.

What do you think? Have you ever seen the impact of spiritual warfare in your own life?

Pray Without Ceasing

2008-01-30T21:48:00.000-07:00

I know that prayer is powerful. I know that God answers prayer. We should pray that His Kingdom will come. We should pray for His Will to be done. We should pray for our daily sustenance. We should pray for forgiveness of our sins. We should pray that we will be able to forgive others. We should pray to stay out of temptation. We should pray to be delivered from evil. We should present all things to God in prayer and supplication. We should make our requests known to God through prayer. We should ask things in Christ’s Name. We should pray with thanksgiving in our hearts. We should pray for our families, as Job did. We should pray for all in authority over us. We should pray for all who are subject to us. We should pray for the lost. We should pray for revival among the lukewarm. We should pray that we may truly love our neighbors. We should pray without ceasing.

Pray without ceasing. There is plenty of stuff to pray about, so it should be easy right? Why can’t I pray without ceasing? Why can’t I set my mind on things above and not on things of the earth? Why do I love the world? Why can’t I desire after God? Where is my passion? Am I lukewarm? Consciously, intellectually, rationally, logically, I do desire God. I read His Word. I try to comprehend His character. But, in my semi-conscious thoughts, when my mind is idle…where do I dwell? In the world? Or in the Father?

It is so easy to be distracted by the world, and materialism, and careers, and money, and family, and even church. I am always thinking—my mind is always turning. How awesome would it be if I could turn my idle thoughts to prayer! How much of my thought life is consumed by entertainment? TV, sports, books? Have my idle thoughts turned to idol thoughts? There are times when I have been truly consumed by different books or movies, even for days afterward. Why can’t I be consumed by God?

One of the reasons that I think it is difficult to pray without ceasing is because it is hard to see a tangible God. I know that He is real. I know that He is sovereign. I do not question these things. I know that we can commune with Him, the Almighty Creator, through prayer. But, it is easy to forget. How can I forget? Why am I not seeking Him every waking moment?

While I have been so far from home, I have no problem remembering to think about my family. I have no problem remembering to call and talk to them. There are many times that I truly cannot wait until the next opportunity to talk to them. There are times when I am consumed by thoughts of my family. I truly long to be with them. If I could speak with them “telepathically”, as in a silent prayer, I would do so nearly constantly. So, this proves that it is possible to be consumed by something other than myself. If I can think of my family “without ceasing”, why can’t I pray without ceasing? But, I have seen my family; I have touched them and held them. It is easy to conceptualize being with them in a tangible form.

Now, don’t get me wrong—there are times when I do have to focus, and my mind is not idle. However, there is a lot of time in my day when my thoughts could be more useful.

To pray without ceasing is likely an unattainable goal. But, how about praying instead of wasting thoughts on other random meaningless stuff? It is all vanity. Again, I am not trying to devalue entertainment…or maybe I am. Do we need to always be “entertained”? I think that entertainment does have value—in relationships. If I laugh with someone, there is a bond. Laughter will strengthen a relationship, and therefore become a manner of showing love towards a neighbor. Perhaps the same could be said of any emotion. Certainly, having empathy, sharing emotions with another would almost always bring a bond (unless the emotion is anger…towards one another).

In a quest to attain the pray without ceasing mindset, I have previously tried fasting. However, I am not very good at it. How do you exchange hunger and grumpiness for thoughts of His Holiness? How can we find satiety in The Bread of Life? Some of my best prayer time is when I run. I often take notecards with verses on them that help me to focus.

One of the ways that I like to pray is to pray scripture back to God. Then, you know that it is in His will. You know that it will be an effective prayer. This concept was introduced to my by a “Handbook of Prayer” (I think that is the title, but I am not sure) by Kenneth Boa. Many of the Pauline epistles offer great examples of prayer—to God, for others, and even asking for prayer himself. One of my favorite passages and one that I often pray for friends and family members—

Phil 1: 9-11 “And this I pray, that your love may abound still more and more in real knowledge and all discernment, so that you may approve the things that are excellent, in order to be sincere and blameless until the day of Christ; having been filled with the fruit of righteousness which comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God.”

Healthcare in Afghanistan

2008-01-30T10:57:00.000-07:00

Being at the largest and most sophisticated American hospital in Afghanistan, Craig Joint Theater Hospital at Bagram Air Field has established a role in educating local physicians. It has truly been an honor and a pleasure to participate in the Afghan Physician Mentorship Program. We usually have 4-10 docs rotate with us for two weeks at a time. They join us on rounds and we also have a didactic lecture schedule. It seems that their medical education is not well regulated—it is apparent that some have had a better education than others. From what I understand, some of them train in Pakistan or India, but most train here in Afghanistan. Apparently, many of their textbooks are “hand me downs” from Pakistan. Medical information is difficult to keep up with even when reading current literature, so it is no surprise that in many areas, their knowledge base is a few decades behind. It is often difficult to prepare lectures because without knowing the available medical resources and their limitations, it is difficult to determine the most appropriate diagnostic studies and treatment options. We certainly don’t want to pompously say “well, in the United States, we can do this and this and this.” However, we also don’t want to downplay the importance of modern medical advances. For instance—one of the docs asked our cardiologist “Why should we keep someone who has had a heart attack on bedrest for 7 days?” I wasn’t present for the conversation, but it was probably difficult for my colleague to diplomatically inform the young Afghan doctor that an MI has not been treated that way since the 1960s in the US. So, I am sure that he then discussed cardiac catheterization, coronary artery bypass grafting and even thrombolytics (medicines to break up the clot). However, none of those treatment options are available here. (Though, we have thrombolytics in our hospital.)

In addition to our mentorship program, there are several other programs to attempt to improve the quality of healthcare in Afghanistan. Though they are making progress, it is going to be a long road. Educating the physicians plays only a small role in healthcare. There is not an adequate infrastructure established on which to base their healthcare system. Many of the health issues are matters of public health—poor water supply, vaccine preventable diseases, malnutrition, and various parasites due to poor hygiene. Nursing care is essentially nonexistent, so when patients are hospitalized in local hospitals, the medication administration, bathing, dressing changes, etc… are performed by their family members. Simple things that we take for granted—like vital signs, heart monitors, IV infusion pumps—none of these things are utilized appropriately, even when available. I gave a lecture to this most recent group of docs about infection control, basic stuff—handwashing, wearing gloves/masks/gowns, clean linens for patients, using “sharps containers”. Though not new concepts, many of these routine things (“standard precautions”) are not a regular part of their practice. Some of the discrepancy is due to lack of availability of disposable items (in the US, we through away a lot of stuff!). They also do not have a way to dispose of medical waste—sharps, bloody stuff, …

So, what about my practice here in Afghanistan? Well, I work in the intensive care unit. Most of our patients have injuries from IED blasts or mine explosions or gunshot wounds. This has been my first experience with trauma and my first experience in a predominantly surgical ICU. Though we have taken care of many Americans, and quite a few coalition forces (Canadian, French, Australian, Polish, German), by far, most of our patients are Afghani. Many are members of the Afghan National Army or Afghan National Police, but some are enemy combatants. Many of the patients have traumatic amputations, traumatic brain injuries, or spinal cord injuries.

In addition to these conditions, we have also seen a few cool infectious processes—malaria and various intestinal parasite diseases. Ascaris (a roundworm that is about twice the size of a large night crawler), is very common in the local population. In fact, we have seen “heavy worm burdens” on CT scan of many patients’ abdomens. We have also seen Ascaris worms come out of people’s noses, mouths, and of course, their bottoms. There was one worm that was able to escape out of the small intestine of a patient through a bullet hole, so upon opening the abdominal cavity, he was just swimming around. We have also seen a few tapeworms. One morning, on rounds, the trauma czar opened an ostomy bag to see why it wasn’t working, and then he proceeded to nonchalantly pull out a 6 foot tapeworm. (I have pictures of some of the worms if anyone is interested.)

There have been several things here that are frustrating. It is terribly disappointing to see patients that we know would have a much better prognosis in the US with more adequate medical resources. This is particularly true of brain and spinal cord injury patients. It is also very difficult to see some of the children that have become casualties of war. From my understanding, it is not uncommon for bad guys to seek refuge among children, families and other civilians, putting them at risk. This area is also very dangerous even when not around the bad guys—there are minefields everywhere. Another big problem in my practice here—Communication. In medical school, residency, and in my practice back home, communication with the patient has always been of paramount importance to me. In med school, they preached the importance of “history, history, history…if you listen to the patient long enough, they will tell you what is wrong with them.” We practiced interviewing skills and listening skills. Most of our internship, we focused on gathering data, much of which was attained by talking to the patient. Here, the language barrier is certainly a barrier to quality health care. We have interpreters, and most of them are physicians, but it is still difficult to know if we are getting an accurate history. (Though, many of my patients are sedated and intubated, on a mechanical ventilator, so they can’t talk anyway.)

However, despite the language and cultural barriers, it is fascinating to see how much we are alike. We are all made in His Image. We all want to love and to be loved. Many times, it seems that children are the best at cross cultural, nonverbal communication—there is commonality among all kids. It is so refreshing to see. From the young infants that play with stuffed animals in their cribs, to the school age kids that walk the halls smiling and laughing. They are so similar to my own children, yet worlds apart. Their parents love them, just as Jennifer and I love our kids, but they cannot always provide for them.

Yup, I'm Still Here

2008-01-30T10:40:00.000-07:00

Ok, so, as I am sure that some of you may have noticed, I haven’t posted for a long time. I don’t have any excuses—I haven’t been too busy or too tired and I haven’t stopped having seemingly random thoughts. My purpose in having this blog has been to keep in touch with friends and family back home, and to show God’s presence with me on this journey so far from home. I still love and cherish each one of you and God continues to show Himself, even in Afghanistan. However, lately, I just haven’t been in the mood to write. Jennifer has told me that I need to write anyway so that I don’t “lose my readers”. She also reminded me that not every entry needs to “involve so much thinking”. So, this post will not be as thought provoking, but should allow you to get a taste of my perspective.

Within the last month, a lot has changed here; though, oddly, it still seems as though everyday is the same. People have asked how the holidays were—well, they were about like every other day. Before I discuss the recent changes, I will allow you insight into our world. Many people describe their deployed time as being similar to the movie “Groundhog Day”.

My days are not all exactly the same, however. I live on a three day cycle. Call—postcall—precall. Everyday, we round with all of the surgeons and subspecialists at 0630. Rounds are led by the “trauma czar”, who is a surgeon that has done a trauma/critical care fellowship. Usually, depending on how many patients I have, I get to the hospital 30-60 minutes before rounds to “pre-round” (this is when I talk to the nurses about my patients, gather vital signs, labs, and examine the patients). After rounds, we go to a morning meeting with representatives from all areas in the hospital. After the morning meeting, breakfast in the hospital cafeteria (called Nut Med, for nutritional medicine). After breakfast, we write our progress notes and do our “work”. “Work” sometimes involves writing orders to transfer patients to the ward or doing various procedures (putting in new IV lines or arterial catheters or bronchoscopies or…) After the post-call guy gets his work done, he goes back to his hut; he is done for the day. The pre-call guy usually leaves sometime mid-morning to go workout or run errands or whatever else he wants to do. The call guy stays until early afternoon, when the pre-call guy comes back to relieve him for a few hours to workout or do whatever. The call guy usually comes back in time for the pre-call guy to go to dinner with everyone else. The call guy then spends the night at the hospital. Usually, we are able to get a couple of hours sleep on call—sometimes more, sometimes less. So, every day is not the same for me; but, every three days are very similar.

There are also some other distinguishing features about several different week days. Sundays, I usually try to go to church (1430 is the contemporary service—music is good, the teaching is variable), I also am leading a Bible Study on Sunday nights. Tuesdays are one of the most exciting nights of the week, and often the landmark on which I perceive time passing. On Tuesday nights, the United Arab Emerits (UAE) allow us to come to their DFAC (dining facility) for dinner. They generally have great food—kind of like a mix between Mediterranean and Indian cuisines. Another option for dining on Tuesday evenings is to go to an American DFAC that has Mongolian BBQ, which is very good as well. So...I have about ten Tuesdays left. Thursday nights, I go to a Men’s Bible Study. Friday nights are “surf and turf” night, where they serve steak and shrimp or crablegs (some people count there weeks by surf and turf nights, but the UAE is a much better meal, and therefore, a better road marker in my opinion). On many evenings, a bunch of the docs will get together to watch movies or play games.

That schedule above, that I just described hasn’t changed—it has been the same for the 116 days that I have been here. However, the thing that has changed is the people that I am with (most of them anyway). The Air Force deploys in four month cycles (usually). When I arrived, most of the people with whom I work had arrived a month prior, in September. Almost all of them were here for four months and have now gone home. So, since I get to stay for six months, I was able to see all of them leave while I introduced the new folk. I really enjoyed the people on the first rotation, but it has also been a pleasure getting to know the new people.

Another change within the last month or so has been the weather. It has snowed a few times, but most of it has melted within a few days. It has gotten very cold (though my perception of cold has changed since living in Arizona). It is certainly hard to crawl out from under my electric blanket in the mornings when the inside of my cabin is around 45-50 degrees. It is also impressive how full you will allow your bladder to get before getting out of bed to walk 100 yards outside to go to the bathroom.

In spite of the changes, I continue to seek to bring Glory to Him, attempting to set my mind on things above, and not on things that are on earth. (a very difficult goal indeed)

Dixie

2008-01-16T08:30:00.000-07:00

We said goodbye to our dog Dixie today, our best friend for over 11 years. Let us share with you how she joined our family. In June of 1996, when we were dating, Brian was working for his father at the veterinary hospital. A woman brought in a little brown puppy to the office that she had found walking along the road. The puppy was so sweet, but she just couldn't keep it, so she wanted to know if Doc White could find it a home. The puppy became Brian's and Brian became the puppy's that very day. Brian bathed her and found her to be a yellow puppy underneath all of that dirt and he brought her home. On the way home, the country band Alabama was playing "Dixieland Delight" on the radio--that was the inspiration for her name. Later that day, I arrived to visit Brian for the weekend. I found him and his new puppy in the front yard waiting for me. Dixie was so cute on her blue leash with her blue collar. Brian asked "Can I keep her?" and I said sure (all the while thinking "why are you asking me??"). The next weekend Brian proposed to me and we began planning our life together, the three of us.

Dixie's first year with Brian, she ate his Bible (except the Psalms), my W2's, my engagement ring warranty, my checkbook, magazines...oh how she loved paper! One Christmas she opened the gifts without us and ate part of a wallet and some other odds and ends. Dixie used to play the "hand game" trying to nibble our hands while she was a puppy. She used to be a soccer dog, holding one toy in her mouth and batting around the others with her paws.

Dixie lived with us in eight different homes in three different states. We brought each of our children home to meet her. We brought our rescued beagle, Belle, home to meet her. She had an amazing disposition, kind and friendly. She didn't mind the children dressing her up (bunny ears and mardi gras beads). She was content to just chew her toys and hang out with us. She was beautiful and soft and loved having her ears and neck scratched. She had an amazing smile. I can't express how much we'll miss her and what a blessing she was to our family. She truly was the best dog.

We'd like to invite you to post any of your favorite memories of Dixie.

Clean on the Inside

2007-12-27T23:11:00.000-07:00

I have started a plan to read through the New Testament over the next 40 days. There are a couple of other guys here that are going to read it with me. We are reading 7 chapters per day and meeting to discuss the main points every other day. I am really excited about this. What a great way to start the new year!

I have truly enjoyed reading the gospels (we just started John yesterday). However, I am often very convicted by the Words of Christ. As He repeatedly rebukes and reprimands the Pharisees and scribes, initially, I find myself thinking “man, He is showing them…they are so pious and self-righteous; they may know the law, but they are sooo judgmental.” About the time that I finish that thought, I am convicted of my own piety, my own self-righteousness, my own judging of others, realizing that the mere thought of “how can they be so misguided”, places me in the category with them. How often have my prayers been in that same tone of “Thank you, God that I am not like ______. Thank you that I know the Truth and that I am not wrong like everyone else.”?

In Luke 18 Christ tells a parable about two men that went in to pray. “The Pharisee stood and was praying thus to himself, ‘God, I thank Thee that I am not like other people: swindlers, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax-gatherer. I fast twice a week; I pay tithes of all that I get.’ (verses 11-12) Meanwhile, Christ goes on to describe the prayer of that tax-gatherer in verse 13. He states “the tax-gatherer was even unwilling to lift up is eyes to heaven, but was beating his breast, saying ‘God, be merciful to me, the sinner!’.” What a great example of humility. I often find myself being self-righteous even in my prayers to the Most Holy and Righteous God. I am able to twist the noble deed of praying for the lost into a perverse display of my own pride. How can that be?

In Matthew, chapter 23, verses 25 and 26, Christ says “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you clean the outside of the cup and of the dish, but inside they are full of robbery and self indulgence. You blind Pharisee, first clean the inside of the cup and of the dish, so that the outside of it may become clean also.”

How does a personal quest for righteousness affect relationships with others? We are called to be set apart, in this world, but not of this world. We are called to have our lives transformed rather than being conformed to this world. We should represent the image of Christ rather than flesh. Our fleshly desires have been crucified with Christ, so that we no longer live, but Christ lives in us. How can we be righteous without becoming self-righteous? In our quest to love the Lord or God with all of our hearts, minds and souls, are we creating barriers in our ability to love our neighbors as ourselves? I don’t mind if my neighbors think that it is odd that I am seeking God, but I don’t want them to feel judged by me. I want them to feel love. How can we be the salt (which can be irritating), and the light (which sinners like to avoid), while sharing His Love with others? He is Holy, Righteous; He is the Judge. How can we seek that holiness in our lives without bringing with it the concept that we can also be the judge? At the very foundation of nearly every sin is Pride. Even in doing good things, like reading the Bible and going to church, I take Pride. This pride, left unchecked, then leads to a sinful heart. Oh, that I may be humble in my quest for righteousness!

We need to be clean on the inside. Our acts of righteousness must not merely be acts, but they should come from an inner holiness that we can only attain by being filled by the Holy Spirit. I pray that we may have discernment--that we may have insight to intervene when our sinful nature attempts to distort things that we do that would otherwise be inherently good.

Back On-Line!

2007-12-27T22:36:00.000-07:00

Well, I just had the chance to review the blog and comments for the first time in about 3 weeks. I have not had good luck with the internet service from my cabin (everyone else calls them huts, but it sounds better to talk about a cabin in the mountains) the last few weeks. In fact, Jen had to publish my last post. The internet dude came out today and replaced a couple of things in the wiring system and reconfigured some stuff. seems to be working now, which is pretty exciting.

so, if all goes well, I may be able to post a few times within the next week or so.

thanks for being patient and continuing to check back. One of my character flaws is that I tend to create "technical difficulty"; so, if you put me in a part of the world that is not particularly technologically advanced, I am probably going to have technical problems.

MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM THE WHITE HOUSE

2007-12-15T09:39:00.000-07:00

Update on Goals

2007-12-14T08:57:00.000-07:00

Well, I am over 1/3 way finished with my deployment. When I first started, I contemplated many lofty goals. I published them on this blog in order to be accountable to them. Some of them, I have done well, while others will provide an opportunity for me to improve—perhaps they will become my New Year’s Resolutions.

As you recall, my goals are compartmentalized into goals of the Mind, Body and Spirit.

Mind
· read medical journal/articles three times a week—I have actually done this about once a week

· read for pleasure three times per week—I just finished Quiet Strength, by Tony Dungy, which I have thoroughly enjoyed. I am still reading Twelve Ordinary Men by John MacArthur, about the Disciples. I am getting ready to read Tuesdays with Morrie. I plan to read The Kite Runner (written by an Afghan author) at the same time as Jennifer (so that we can have a book club) after she returns from MO.

· write at least once a week—I have not been keeping up on this (I like to blame my computer and poor internet access, but many times it is just because. Yes, I went to elementary school, and I learned that “because” is not a reason, but…it seems to fit because I really don’t have any other valid reasons why I have not been writing.)

· I plan to engage in conversation with our interpreters 2 times/week—This has recently picked up a bit, I have been trying to learn a bit of Dari and Pashtu from one of the interpreters, I have practiced with him a few times this week.

· I have also considered re-taking the Perspectives on the World Christian Movement Course online for credit.—I may wait to take this class at a local church in Phoenix when I get back.

· I am also considering doing the online coursework for the Aerospace Medicine Primary course to become a flight doc.—I have gotten a password for the online course, but that is as far as I have gotten

One of my unwritten goals is also to try to determine a plan for professional development. Okay, so, that is a fancy way of saying that I need to try to figure out what I want to be when I grow up.

Professionally, I have been gaining great experience. I am enjoying my work in the intensive care unit. I continue to pray for enlightenment in regards to my future career path. I have considered many options, both military and civilian. I still do not have a clear vision for where I can best serve. How can I help further God’s Kingdom?

I have been pondering the role that healthcare plays in a society. I have been trying to piece together the optimal level of involvement of governmental authority in provision of health care. This question is of particular interest in a country that is war-torn and trying to find stability. Many of the health issues here are aspects of public health and preventative medicine. Poor sanitation and hygiene, lack of a clean water supply, these are very prevalent and burdensome. These health issues no longer effect only individuals or families, but the entire society and the socioeconomic foundation of a nation, which will then impact the governmental stability. If we desire to further God’s Kingdom, we need to start with health care. How will we ever reach the people with the Gospel of Peace if their physical needs have not been met? If someone is cold or hungry, they will not have an eternal perspective, but an immediate, next-meal perspective. There is also the simple math of—if we can increase their lifespan through better health care, that will increase their opportunity to hear the Truth.

Does acknowledgment of the importance of healthcare in the 10/40 window alter my career path? Truly, the Lord only knows.
“For I know the plans that I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11

Body

· Run 3 times per week—have been fairly consistent with this; sometimes do elliptical instead of running (that allows me to read a medical journal at the same time)

· Lift weights 2 times per week—have been actually lifting 3-4 times per week

· Push ups (100), crunches (100), Pull-ups (10), Dips (10) each day—have not done this at all

· Desserts —have not been compliant with this one either

· No evening snacks—have had indiscriminant eating

· 6 servings of fruits/vegetables per day--nope

· Floss every night—has been about 3 times per week

· No Beer—well, I have had nonalcoholic beer a few times, but it is not very good

The dietary goals have really been the hardest for me to adhere to. Food is always available, and it is free. Eating is a social event. I thought I had a good plan of attack for this by taking a legalistic approach, setting rules/guidelines for myself. However, the law merely leads to guilt due to noncompliance. Also, improved exercise habits has allowed me to further justify poor eating habits. I have developed a sense of entitlement, such that I reward myself with food after a good run/workout.

Spirit

So, as I mentioned previously, none of these goals were readily quantifiable; they are not objective.

My prayer and devotion time have been going well.

I have started a weekly Romans Study in our med group (about 6-8 people attend regularly).

I would probably benefit from a daily reading of those verses that I previously outlined as my spiritual goals.

Pictures of Bagram

2007-11-29T03:26:00.000-07:00

This is the sign in front of the hospital.

This is the outside of my B-Hut.

This is a row of B-huts in front of the mountains. We are surrounded by mountains, but most days, the dust/haze does not allow us a very good view of them.

This is my bedroom. It is a walled off plywood section in the B-hut, approximately 7 by 9 feet.

Here is a flag out from amongst a row of B-huts in front of the mountains.

I plan to post more pics occasionally.

"We are on a Mission from God."

2007-11-27T10:20:00.000-07:00

This is a quote from The Blues Brothers, one of my favorite movies. In that movie, the main characters, Jake and Elwood, try to justify everything that they do because they feel that they are “on a mission from God”. They feel that they are fighting for a noble cause, through which, they attempt to justify any infringements against laws and governmental authorities that may occur while on such mission. Does that ever happen with us as modern day Christians? Has it ever happened in the past Christian community? The Crusades are one extreme example. What about now? Do we ever try to justify our actions through claims of a higher calling? It happens all of the time. Self-righteous pride is just as common among modern day Christians as it was among the Pharisees whom Christ criticized. What kind of “mission” are we truly on? Is it from God?

I was talking with one of my new friends, a doc that works with me in the ICU here at Bagram. The topic that we were discussing revolved around the choice to stay in the military or get out of the military. This is a very common discussion among doctors, because most (probably 75-80%) get out as soon as they can. There are many pros and cons of military medicine. I truly enjoy my job in garrison (back home) as well as this job deployed. Jennifer and I have had an ongoing discussion regarding this decision for years. We have decided to table that discussion while I am deployed. We don’t plan to make any other life altering decisions in the next few months either for that matter. However, back to this thought provoking conversation—he said “I don’t know if I believe in the mission. I can’t stay in an organization if I don’t believe in the mission.” We then went on to talk about the politics of the current situations in both Iraq and Afghanistan. We talked about the progress being made in each society. We talked about the difficulty with finding an “end point” with either situation. (perhaps the end point will be when a new president is elected) We then talked about the cost of war—financial as an institution, physical, mental, spiritual, emotional as individuals. He reported concern regarding the disruption of the already devastated family unit in our country—with deployments (the army deploys for 15 months, some others alternate 6 months deployed and 6 months at home), injuries and fatalities. This leaves battered and scarred individuals veterans as well as emotionally scarred wives and children. It also results in widows and orphans. Now, none of these issues are new. War is as old as time. In fact, we have less fatalities, and better post-injury rehabilitation services than ever before. Nonetheless, war is still costly.

After this conversation, I began to write a letter to Jennifer trying to explain this new perspective on military medicine (to continue our ongoing discussion that she had hoped was tabled). I wanted to share with her the insights that had come from my reflection on such conversation. However, my email wasn’t working, so I began to draft it by hand. I realized that my thoughts don’t naturally come onto the paper in an organized fashion and my writing is quite illegible when I write quickly (particularly with the fancy new gel roller pen that I got from Bill O’Reilly). So, I decided to type my thoughts. Then, I decided that it would be nice to have the comments of my dearest friends and family members…my Blog readers.

So, the question is: Do I believe in "the mission"? Do I think that we, as a nation, are doing the right thing in Iraq and Afghanistan? What is the end point? As long as there is injustice and oppression, there will be war. Or is our cause that noble? Are we truly seeking justice, equality and freedom? Or are we watching out for our own interest?

“What is the source of quarrels and conflicts among you? Is not the source your pleasures that wage war in your members? You lust and do not have; so you commit murder. And you are envious and cannot obtain; so you fight and quarrel. You do not have because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive because you ask with wrong motives, so that you may spend it on your pleasures.”—James 4:1-3

We try to claim that we fight for justice—but who is just and righteous among men? “There is none righteous, not even one…” Psalm 14. How can a collection of unjust people, elected to represent other unjust and imperfect people be any more just as an institution than as an individual? Sure, there are “checks and balances”. And certainly it is likely that all such representatives will have various weaknesses and vulnerabilities such that they shouldn’t all believe in the same immoral principle at the same time. However, there is a principle used to describe medical errors and errors as investigated in the aviation industry. The principle to which I am referring is called the “swiss cheese principle”. It suggests that each layer of protection in the checks and balances (represented by a slice of swiss cheese) has holes. If the holes from multiple layers line up in the wrong way, bad stuff can slip through those holes. Has this happened in our government? Are there any moral principles that have “slipped through”? Patrick Henry once said "It cannot be emphasized too strongly or too often that this great nation was founded not by religionists but by Christians, not on religions, but on the Gospel of Jesus Christ". If God is the only one that is truly Just, how can we spread justice when we, as a nation, are not seeking Him?

Is Democracy the same as justice? Democracy is founded on the principle that all are created equal and that each should have equal representation when deciding on principles that govern the entirety. This then embodies the concept of pluralism through freedom of religion. Pluralism is a difficult concept for us, as Christians, to embrace. We all know that we have been called to spread the Gospel “to all the ends of the Earth”, so that “every tongue will confess”. I am sure that it is not uncommon for us, as we learn about God’s desire for all nations and His calling of us all to be involved in missions, to consider “Well, why can’t we just make everyone become Christian? Our nation’s founding fathers were Christian. Why didn’t they make it a law that everyone has to be Christian?” But, pluralism is part of democracy. We have seen how well government mandated religions have worked for communism. Taking away this freedom of religion certainly leads to oppression and injustice, the very principles which we are fighting. God created pluralism. He created us to worship. It brings Him Glory when we choose to worship Him alone. So, pluralism can bring God Glory. Democracy can bring God Glory. But, are we called to spread democracy? Or the Love of Christ? Have we been commissioned to extend the realm of western civilization and modern technology, or to spread the Gospel?

“Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” Matthew 28:19-20

Are we as a nation, as a military, as churches, as families, as individuals, on a Mission from God? YES!

Thanksgiving!

2007-11-23T02:51:00.000-07:00

Happy Thanksgiving!

Well, actually, it is the day after Thanksgiving. However, I am thankful, nonetheless.

Thanksgiving is a great opportunity for reflection. Being deployed, I have few distractions to prevent such reflection. Upon "counting my blessings", I note each one of you and our relationships. Though this time of geographic separation from my family is difficult at times, it is easier while having a solid support network for Jennifer and I (and the kids).

I have much for which I am thankful. When asked about the greatest commandment, Jesus answered “Love the Lord your God with all of your heart, mind and soul. …Love your neighbor as yourself.” (Matthew 22:36-40) This response indicates the importance of relationships. I am most thankful for the sacrificial Love of our Heavenly Father, who gave up His Son to suffer the punishment for my sins, allowing me the opportunity of eternal Life. So, other than eternal salvation, what am I thankful for, you ask? Relationships—friends, family, colleagues, coworkers. Some of these relationships I have chosen; some have been chosen for me (through genetics, by marriage, or through the military). However, I am thankful for each one.

This blog post began as an email, however, I cannot limit my gratitude to merely those in my email contact list. The support for me and my family has been palpable, tangible. This deployment is teaching me so much in regards to developing authentic relationships—with my friends and loved ones at home as well as with my fellow deployed.

Life here is simplified. It is mostly socialism with a bit of institutionalization. We all dress alike. We all eat the same things. We all live in the same type of houses. We all have to walk outside to go to the bathhouses. We are all away from our families. We don’t watch much TV or go driving around or go out to eat. We are all doing things that are a bit out of our usual roles. We are unified in many respects. This simple life is removed from distractions of the haves and the have-nots. Materialism truly plays no role in day to day life. In the work environment, we have not escaped bureaucracy (it is still the government), but the rank structure, in the clinical realm at least, truly dissolves into a collegial team approach. Each of us respecting the positions played by the others.

This simple life is what allows me to set such lofty goals as previously posted. I am able to focus on trying to truly live out the greatest commandment. All of my goals basically boil down to personal discipline, which should be inherently easier with less distraction. So, I have been here for 48 days, over 25% through my tour—how am I doing on my goals? Well, I am making progress, though despite having minimal distraction, sometimes apathy and fatigue(spending every 3rd night in the hospital) are the predominant sentiments. Overall, I am doing fairly well—I have not written as much as I would like and I still have little self control when it comes to eating (particularly around Thanksgiving), but…I am enjoying daily devotion and prayer time along with regular workouts.

Speaking of eating without discretion, we had a feast yesterday! I was on call. However, the trauma surgeon offered to cover the ICU for the afternoon. So, I, along with about 15 other docs walked to one of the DFACs (dining facilities). We got there to find the place completely decorated. There was roast beef, ham, smoked turkey, and all of the sides that you could ask for, including cocktail shrimp. That was mid afternoon and I was not hungry again until Breakfast this morning.

The ICU has been nearly full for the last couple of weeks; though thankfully, we have not had a lot of new trauma come in recently. Currently, most of our patients are local nationals with brain or spinal cord injuries. Unfortunately, without adequate long term nursing and rehabilitation facilities, the prognosis for these folk is pretty poor. Many of them have been with us for weeks and will remain with us as long as our resources allow.

As Jen mentioned in her post with pics of the kids, please be patient with the blog—Lately, I have had very limited internet access. Even my email has been a bit sketchy, so if you email or comment on the blog and I don’t reply right away, I might not be ignoring you. Jen sent me a webcam and I have not been able to have internet access long enough to download any instant messenging software.

I plan to blog again soon (a relative term)—I have been pondering the concept of Fear—is it from God? Is it for God? Can it glorify God?—now, all of you budding theologians out there…don’t comment on this yet, but think about it, I plan to post about Fear soon.

GO MU TIGERS! BEAT KU!

Please keep checking in...

2007-11-22T19:58:00.000-07:00

Brian’s internet service has been quite unreliable (and frustrating) these couple of weeks. He is hoping to post again soon. Please check back, in the meantime—look at these beautiful children!

Why Do I Carry A Gun?

2007-11-05T04:18:00.000-07:00

*This post is a bit long and the post is a little bit later than I wanted—I would like to post weekly. However, I have been gathering information from a Bible Study that I have been attending here with one of the military chaplains that gave some interesting points. I look forward to all of your comments.

I am a Christian doctor—Why do I carry a gun? Simple reason: because they tell me to. They, of course, are my commanders, and there is no authority except from God. (Rom 13:1) According to the Geneva Convention, I am a non-combatant. However, I am authorized to protect my patients and our medical resources. I am also allowed to defend myself. In fact, as a military officer, not only am I allowed to defend myself, I am expected to do everything in my power to avoid being captured or killed. I have been trained and qualified to use both the M-16 and the M9. I carry a loaded M9 (9mm pistol) with me at all times that I am not in my work area (the hospital), going to the shower or going to work out. So, it is my duty as a military officer, with responsibilities to my patients and our medical assets, to carry my weapon. Many of the docs with whom I work, make claims of pacifism. These claims manifest in various ways—some did not even pick up their ammo, some just don’t ever carry their weapon, some carry an unloaded weapon. Yet, I still carry mine. However, would I ever use it?

If some bad guy came towards me with intent to kill, and I was armed, should I draw and shoot him? Having faith in Christ, I know that I will enjoy eternal life with God in heaven. I will not fear him who can kill only the body, but Him who can destroy both body and soul in hell. (Matthew 10:28). I do not fear death, for I know that the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 6:23) Who am I to judge (James 4:12, Matthew 7:1-5) this “bad guy” and deprive him of life? In fact, if I draw my weapon and kill him, how am I any better than he? How does killing a “bad guy” show that I disapprove of “bad guys” if “bad guys” are “bad” because they kill? If I end the bad guys life on earth, I am also depriving him of the opportunity to know Christ and have eternal life with God. However, some would argue that the passage in Luke chapter 12 (vs 42-48) indicates that the punishment in Hell is graduated, such that a person will be judged and punished according to their deeds. One could then make the argument that taking a bad guys life, and thus, limiting his evil acts, could be an act of love which would decrease the “number of lashes” that he would receive in hell. What do you think, could killing, could war, be an act of love? Sure it is an act of love for the oppressed that one is trying to free, for the people to whom one is trying to bring justice, but can it be an act of love for the enemy?

In the Sermon on the Mount, as recorded in Matthew chapter 5, Christ says “But I say to you, do not resist him who is evil but whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn to him the other also.” (verse 39) He continues, saying “But I say to you love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you in order that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven; for He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.” (verses 44, 45) God, the Holy and Righteous Creator of the Universe, bestows blessings upon “good guys” and “bad guys”. His Son died for the “good guys” and the “bad guys.” “For God did not send the Son into the world to judge the world, but that the world should be saved through Him.” (John 3:17)

In the book of Romans, chapter 12, Paul reminds us—Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Respect what is right in the sight of all men. Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. (verses 17-19, 21)

Many use the above arguments to take a stand of pacifism. However, when one looks at the entirety of the Bible, which is the internally consistent, infallible, Word of God, it is not without war. In fact, the old testament, which is primarily speaking to Israel as a nation, speaks of war quite regularly. The Israelites are often commanded by God to go to war. He told them how and when to go into battle. He told them how to prepare for battle. He used war to judge the unrighteous (which sometimes included war against Israel.) Some of the greatest testimonies of faith come from the battleground (Hebrews 11:32-33). So, war cannot be inherently evil, or God would not have been in full support of it. But what about the new testament—does it contradict the wars of the old testament? Did the character of God change? Of Course not! God is the Alpha and Omega. He is unchanging, the same from the Beginning to the End. The new testament offers a different perspective—rather than speaking to the nation of Israel, it speaks to individuals. It focuses on individual relationships with God and with fellow man. Though Christ did not come to Earth as a warrior, He will return as a conquering warrior. He also did not discourage various soldiers to whom he ministered from being soldiers. He did not tell them to “go and sin no more.” Instead, He was encouraging of them, speaking highly of one soldier’s faith (Luke 7:2-9,Matthew 8: 5-13).

So, I still do not know what I would do if a bad guy came towards me with intent to kill, but through my governing authority (which is given that authority from God) I should draw and fire. I pray that this situation will never occur to me. However, I trust in the sovereignty of God, knowing that He is in control. I also pray for the men and women in the military that are required to take lives. I pray that they will find peace and not be heavy laden with guilt. I pray that they make wise decisions.

War is a horrible process. Unfortunately, it is not as clear as “good guys” and “bad guys”. The bad guys don’t wear uniforms to stand out. The bad guys are not afraid to use innocent civilians and children as their shields. The ugliness of war shows its face in those civilians and children. These are the people that I am serving in addition to our coalition forces. “Collateral Damage” has faces, names and families—and oh, how appreciative are those families for our healthcare. It is unfortunate that our media never talks to some of these families. War is not foreign to the Afghan people, it is the only life that they have known. And just as in medicine, where decisions are made by comparing risks and benefits, optimal effects and potential adverse effects, such is military strategy.

My Goals for this Deployment

2007-10-22T02:53:00.000-07:00

My Goals for this deployment

Before I left home, a friend who had recently returned from a year-long deployment asked me “what are your goals for your deployment?” I honestly told him that since it was such a short notice tasking, I had not really thought about it. Since that time, I have put a lot of thought into it. I have never been very good at setting goals. No, that is not really true, I frequently set goals and expectations for my self, but they are not really very good goals. Good goals should be objective and quantifiable. You should be able to clearly check it off the list once accomplished. They should also have an associated timeline, and ideally a plan of action in attempt to accomplish such goal. This is why I am generally not very good at meeting my goals. I notoriously have good intentions with poor follow-through. Thus, I should not be surprised when I am unable to cross accomplished goals off of my list when my goals are generic like: 1. Get healthier 2. Be a better person 3. Be nice. Therefore, my initial thought for my goals was: “In my absence from my family, I want to improve.” Now, this is not a very good goal—it is completely attainable and completely unattainable at the same time. It is nonspecific and not quantifiable. More specifically, I have taken an osteopathic approach to compartmentalize my life somewhat by looking at mind, body and spirit. Hopefully, by publishing these goals on the blog, I will accomplish two things—it will give you all specific things to pray for and it will help me to be accountable for such lofty goals.

Mind: There are many ways that I plan to improve my mind while I am gone. Most apparent will be on the job. Professionally, I am a bit out of my element working in a surgical/trauma intensive care unit, when I am accustomed to spending most of my time in clinic with middle aged and elderly patients. I plan to soak up all of the learning opportunities that I can. In addition to work related mentation, I plan to write regularly (like I am doing right now) and read for pleasure. I also plan to try to learn more about the people, the language and the culture of Afghanistan.
· read medical journal/articles three times a week
· read for pleasure three times per week—I plan to read at least one book about Afghanistan
· write at least once a week (you all will be able to hold me accountable on the writing aspect of it)
· I plan to engage in meaningful conversation with our interpreters 2 times/week
· I have also considered re-taking the Perspectives on the World Christian Movement Course online for credit. (www.perspectives.org)
· I am also considering doing the online coursework for the Aerospace Medicine Primary course to become a flight doc.

Body: I want to be more disciplined with my diet and with exercise. You all are welcome to join me in this endeavor. (Though I have run a few times since I have been here and I have lifted weights twice, I have otherwise not started this new routine. I am kind of giving myself a 2-4 week buffer getting settled into a routine and enjoying my emotional eating with daily dessert indulgence. Unfortunately for my health and fitness plans, the food here is pretty good.) This will also be difficult working a schedule that is somewhat variable. (currently, I am spending every third night in the hospital—when I am up all night, sometimes I eat an extra meal, or at least a few snacks.)
· Run 3 times per week
· Lift weights 2 times per week
· Push ups (100), crunches (100), Pull-ups (10), Dips (10) each day
· Desserts <3 times per week
· No evening snacks
· 6 servings of fruits/vegetables per day
· Floss every night—okay, that is completely unattainable; perhaps 5 times per week is more reasonable
· No Beer—the Air Force has taken care of this one for me since no alcohol is allowed in this deployed location. However, I will leave it on my goal list so that I will have at least one goal that I can accomplish.

Spirit: I want to be more disciplined in my daily devotion, prayer and Bible study time. This is the area that I have spent the most time pondering because I think that it is the most important and it impacts everything else. These goals are obviously less quantifiable and are not objective.
· I want to Love the Lord, my God, with all of my heart, soul and mind. I want to love my neighbor as myself. (Matthew 22:36-40)
· I want to set my mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth. (Col 3:2)
· I want to present my body as a living and holy sacrifice to God as my spiritual act of worship (Romans 12: 1), for my body is a temple of the Holy Spirit. Therefore, I want to glorify God with my body.(1 Cor 6:19-20)
· I want to be an imitator of God. I want to walk in love. I do not want immorality or any impurity or greed be any part of me. I do not want to speak foolishly. I do not want to be part of coarse jesting (teasing). (Eph 5:1-4)
· I want to be fruitful, filled with the Spirit, producing love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. (Gal 5:22)
· I want my mind to dwell on things that are honorable, right, pure, lovely, excellent and worthy of praise. (Phil 4: 8)
· I want to work for the Lord rather than for men. (Col 3:23)
· I want to seek first His kingdom and His righteousness. (Matthew 6:33)
· Though all things are permissable for me, I do not want to be brought under the power of any. (1 Cor 6: 12)
· I desire to be well content with weaknesses and insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Cor 12:10)
· I don’t want to be anxious. I want to rejoice in the Lord always. (Phil 4:4,6)
· I want my love to abound more and more in knowledge and all discernment, so that I may approve things that are excellent. I want to be filled with the fruit of righteousness. (Phil 1:9-11)
· I don’t want to love the world or the things of the world. (1 John 2: 15-16)
· I desire to be filled with the knowledge of God’s will, with spiritual wisdom and understanding. I want to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, to please Him in all respects, bearing fruit in every good work. (Col 1:9-10)

Why Snake on a Stick?

2007-10-14T05:53:00.000-07:00

Why “Snake on a Stick”?

The name actually could refer to a couple of different things.

One, as you may have guessed by the picture on the blog, is the caduceus, which has been a symbol for medicine. It is unclear how long this has represented medicine, or even the story behind the symbolism. However, according to Greek Mythology, the winged staff with two serpents twined around it was carried by Hermes. Classical Mythology states that it represents the staff carried by Mercury as messenger of the gods. It has also been called the staff of Aesclepius. Though these historical myths may be meaningful to some, I have never really gotten into that junk—I don’t even know who Hermes, Mercury and Aesclepius were.

The name also could refer to the rattlesnake appetizer served at a southwestern/cowboy restaurant in Tempe, AZ. Jen and I ordered it one time—tasted like frog legs, which taste like rocky mountain oysters, which are really testicles, which taste a bit like chicken, though not as popular.

The true reason for the name of the blog comes from Numbers 21, which describes a time in which the Israelites had been straying away from God. They were filled with pride and total disregard for God’s plan. They were discontent with all that He had provided. They spoke against God and Moses, “Why have you brought us up out of Egypt to die in the wilderness? For there is no food and no water, and we loathe this miserable food.” (Numbers 21:5) God sent a Righteous Judgment on them through “fiery serpents”. The people then acknowledged their unrighteous acts. Moses, their leader with a righteous Fear of God, prayed an intercessory prayer on behalf of the Israelites. God then offered a chance for redemption. He told Moses to produce a bronze snake and lift it up on a stick. The people were advised to look upon this and be healed. This was a messianic prophecy that Jesus refers to in John 3:14—“And as Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, even so must the Son of Man be lifted up; that whoever believes may in Him have eternal life. For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have eternal life.”

This excerpt from Numbers is probably not how medicine came to be represented by a snake on a stick, but it helps me to look at the healing power of Christ. The name of this blog represents my goal of being one to raise up the staff, so that all may look to the power of the Cross. I am not the One who heals, but only an instrament.

Of note, this passage from Numbers also brings to mind a very important attribute of Moses as a leader. He prayed an intercessory prayer for his people. He did not judge them, he let God judge them. He did not look down on them in self-righteousness, but he lifted them up; he acknowledged their repentance and tried to help them get right with God.

Sadly, the Israelites, eventually began to worship the staff with a snake. It had once been a way for redemption, yet they again becam idolators. God gave them the staff to look toward for salvation. After they were saved from the fiery serpents, they continued to look at that staff until they began to worship it rather than God. (2 Kings 18:4)

Are there things in our lives that God has given us—Blessings that He has bestowed upon us—that we then distort to the point that we focus on those blessings rather than the One who blessed us? This concept is easily visualized with pictures of affluence and financial blessing. God blesses us, then somehow, we feel like we deserve it. Then we focus on those blessings rather than The Blesser. Isaiah 44:9-17 gives a great example of the futility of idolatry. Let us lay up our treasures in heaven (Matthew 6:19-20). When God judged the Israelites with the fiery serpents they could choose to accept the punishment and die, or they could confess their sins and look to God for the blessings that could come out of it.

Expectations: Our Enemy

2007-10-11T20:13:00.000-07:00

“In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps.” Proverbs 16:9

We had quite of list of plans made for the next several months. We expected Brian to be “in the bucket” (deployable) starting in January of 2008, so we had planned all sorts of activities, chores, trips, et cetera to keep us busy through the end of the year. We were looking forward to making some home improvements. We were looking forward to celebrating Katie’s first birthday and to making a big trip home for Christmas. My expectation was that we’d be doing all of these things together.

Sometimes having expectations sets me up for big disappointments. Brian jokes around a lot and I’ve heard him frequently say “set your expectations low, then you won’t be disappointed.” He’s usually giving me a hard time about expecting to get more accomplished around the house than I do or expecting others to read my mind and feelings when they can’t (I’m guilty of doing that more that I’d like to admit!). I really didn’t think I was setting my expectations too high when I planned on my husband being around through the end of the year!

But I’m reminded of James 5:14-15 “Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.”” I need to keep this in mind so that I can set my attitude in the right place. The hurt and despair I feel over crushed expectations can be crippling…I cannot let myself be crippled by my disappointment over the loss of plans that have not been actualized.

Why should I despair thinking that my plans and expectations were greater than what God has in store for Brian and me? Perhaps this is a time when “for a little while [we] may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials…so that [our] faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.” 1 Pet. 1:6-7. I need to realize that God always has bigger and better plans than we could ever expect and I need to look forward to what He has in store. I hope that He will draw me and Brian nearer to Him and to each other during this time and that we will be a blessing to all those He puts in our paths.

I guess my first blog entry here was a little “heavy,” don’t expect them to always be this way—you’ll be disappointed!

The Adventure has begun

2007-10-09T05:55:00.000-07:00

The Adventure Has Begun
Since writing the below message(actually this entire message was compiled yesterday, but I was unable to get internet access until today), I have arrived at my final destination (though in temporary housing). I have had a good breakfast. I slept (in a bed) for about 8 consecutive hours. I went for a run. I took a hot shower. I went going to dinner with a bunkmate. I am feeling much better than I was at the time that I scratched this message onto a notepad this morning. I apologize for such a long entry.
My first blog entry:
I am in the back of a C17 along with a bunch of other military members, a couple of large trucks and a few pallets loaded with all of our gear. It is 0317 (3:17 AM for my military-time illiterate readers), Monday, 8 October 2007. Despite the noise, which is tolerable with earplugs, this is some of the more comfortable hours flown during this trek. There is room to walk around and there is plenty of leg room.
Before I left for this deployment, I thought about what I wanted to write in my first blog entry. I initially planned to write about my fear of uncertainty and the Biblical reasons that I should be able to let go of that fear and trust in the sovereignty of God. He is in control. He will provide.
Then, Jennifer and I set up the blog, naming it Snake on a Stick. With an unusual name like that, I decided that my first blog should probably be an explanation of the name. However, over the last few days, I have been reflecting on my purpose for doing a blog:
1. To keep in touch with many people back home. I am comforted by the prayers of many. I want those who pray for me regularly to have insight into my daily life along with my weaknesses and vulnerabilities and spedific prayer requests.
2. I want to try to document evidence of God’s hand in my trip to this dark part of the world.
With these two main purposes in mind, I feel that my first blog should fill you in on what I have been doing the past few days. I will not be able to give too many details because of security issues.
I left Phoenix at 2100 last Thursday night, it is currently 0333 Monday AM. Since leaving Phoenix, I have flown approximately 20 hours (most in the middle of the night); I have travelled half way around the world (literally, 11.5 hrs time difference from home); we have landed in three different countries and we are on our way to our final destination.
I have slept on several occasions, but not for more than 1-2 hours at a time. Only about 3 hours of my sleep have been laying down and half of that was spent on a few hours with chairs pushed together. I have had the opportunity to shower once. I have eaten well. It was around 35-40 degrees, gray and windy yesterday, very cold this morning while boarding the plane. (much different from the 100+ that I am used to in Phoenix) Let me tell you, using port-a-potties when it is 40 degrees is no fun!
Now, I tell you all of this not to complain or to inspire your pity. However, I want you to understand my vulnerable state. Understandably, sleep deprivation combined with a cold, dark environment do not allow for ideal coping response to stressful stimuli.
Prior to leaving Phoenix last week, I had opportunity to pray with many friends and brothers/sisters in Christ. Though most of my prayers had been for Jen and the kids and the emotion of separation, many of my friends had insight to pray specifically for me to find a good support network of Christian brethren here. About 24 hours ago, when we arrived at our most recent location, I began to see this prayer being answered. While sitting in a briefing with about 150 other deployers, I happened to sit in the same row as a pilot from Luke who is a Christian. We had a chance to go to church together. This relationship has been very encouraging. (Since writing this this morning, I realized that this new friend is likely going to be at a different part of the base and our circles are not likely to cross much.However, I also met a guy that I recognized from Keesler. He is also going to be working in the hospital. He will be sharing a hut with me. He is also a Christian.)
Yesterday morning, I finally got the chance to take a nap on a bed. However, I was only able to sleep about 30-45 minutes before awakening with an anxious feeling about being separated from Jen and the kids. It has been a few long days at the beginning of several long months. I was feeling homesick. (These are normal feelings that I anticipated, but they were somewhat exacerbated by sleep deprivation and lack of physical comfort in the setting of a short notice tasking. Since I found out about this deployment only 16 days prior to departure, I was very busy during that 16 days and I did not have the opportunity to prepare mentally/emotionally for such an adventure.) This anxious feeling led me to open my Bible. I read Philippians Chapter 4. “Be anxious for nothing but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension shall guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (v 6-7) I continued to read and I was reminded of when Paul states that he has “learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am.” (v10-12) In verse 13, Paul proclaims “I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.”
That is the end of the entry that I penned early in the morning. However, my closing thoughts this evening come from my daughter Grace’s favorite verse, Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all of your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all of your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.”